What's the process of confessing to Elders?

by JerkhovahsWitless 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • JerkhovahsWitless

    My friend and his girlfriend will be meeting with their elders this coming week to confess the lengthy amount of time they've been committing "pornea". So far the elders know that he wants to meet with them and he wants to setup a time. He hasn't told them what for though.

    He was asking me what the process will be like. I've never had to go through this before, but from what I read I told him:

    I think once they tell the elders why they wanted to meet with them, the elders will setup a time for a judicial committee. My friend and his gf will then have to go confess to their parents about their "sins" and then fear the parental freakout that will ensue.

    The day of the judicial committee at least three elders will make sure neither of them are recording the cult trial, then interrogate them both seperately and probably want all of the graphic details. They'll read scriptures, tell them how terrible they both are, send them out of the room and judge, then tell them to come back in and DF them. Sometimes there might be more than one JC meeting before the verdict.

    They'll have the option for an appeal, which will be a waste of time.

    To get reinstated they'll have to go to all of their meetings for a while, then write a letter requesting to be reinstated.

    Is that all there pretty much is to it or are there details or steps I mixed up or left out that would make him feel better knowing before he goes?

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    http://www.bible.cfmin.com/PAYATTENTION.pdf or google search for Elders Manual or the title "Pay attention to Yourselfs and to the flock"

    Pretty much as you said. It is to extract the details so they can come to an assessment of the willfulness / wickedness level as opposed to the weakness level. Ongoing repeated fornication will be deemed as willful and wicked so they will be DFd almost without a doubt UNLESS of course He or she is an Elders son daughter in whcih case the odds improve quite a bit in their favour. However I'd still say they will get the boot.

    Things that will swing it are if they make full disclosure and proffuse apologies to all the relatives affected (this needs to be sincere not a patch up job thats seen as going thru the motions) Then they need to get married IMMEDIATEDLY. That may save them DFd.

    If not then its sucky sucky time (no no that sort of sucking) and doing works beffiting repentance (see above), going to ALL the meetings in a humble chastened manner (its all about appearance). Then after sufficient time has been deemed to have passed, then they can apply for reinstatement by writing heartfelt to the elders.

    A bit rushed but I have to go...


  • fokyc

    Never ever confess anything to elders. It all sounds so nice and spiritual to confess.

    I await with interest the result!

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    They'll both be here some day confessing to us how stupid they were too do that.

    Think About It

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Do they really think that they will be treated well by a bunch of kooks that swallowed the new Generation doctrine????

  • BluesBrother

    Just to add that a d/f is by no means a foregone conclusion. If they want to stay in, they must consider very carefully what they say and how they say it,

    A confession, an expression of remorse and determination to things "Jehovah's way" from now on ought to get them off with a reproof.

    A lot depends on how well connected they are, whether the elders like them or not, and how they express themselves , how they dress and so on.

    Of course it is entirely a human judgement so forget any notion of God being involved and play to their strengths before the elders

    I wish 'em luck

  • nelly136

    they might not get df'd, like blues said that can depend on how good they are at 'showing repentance' (grovelling) and how well theyre liked,

    offhand i can think of 3 couples that got off with reproofs and restrictions by having quickie registry office services.

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    If you want an idea.....it's like the last scene in the movie "Braveheart" where the Priest cuts open Mel Gibson!!!!!!!! FREEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!!

  • JerkhovahsWitless

    Thanks for the replies. I'll let him know what to expect.

  • yknot




    Here is a link to the 'elder manual' (KS91) and unlike the previous link it includes Elder's notes!

    He doesn't have to confess to the pornea he can make up something along the lines of needing help or clarification on an interpretational matter....

    If he feels guilty he should just repent in prayer and 'sin no more'.....


    and while you are at it ....pass him this forums addy!

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