by LostnFound 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Lozhasleft

    Welcome to the forum from England ....another sad story but so glad you now have a good husband and have moved on from all that ....

    Loz x

  • Desilusionnee

    Welcome from Austria!

  • lisavegas420

    Welcome. Glad you got to move on and have a real life.

    What did your husband think about the elders questioning you? How does he feel when you explain your upbringing? Do you have a relationship with your parents now?

    Thanks for sharing!


  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    I have just had someone who knew zero about this cult read your post on my 'juke box' computer.

    She will never become a JW.

    It was a wonderful coincidence that it happened the way it did and I thank you very much for your post.

    Big hugs from Chris

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Thanks for sharing your story. I was also wondering what your husband's reaction is to all this JW stuff and do you still have a relationship with your parents.

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    LostnFound...........Welcome to the board. Nice into and sounds like you are doing well.

    Think About It

  • Chalam

    Welcome LostnFound!



  • LostnFound

    Wow, thank you for the nice comments and the welcome !!

    lisavegas420 and Scarred For Life- To answer your questions about my husbands reaction- well, he was really patient and tried so hard to be understanding. He drove me to the Judicial Meeting, and waited in the car. He saw how nervous I was, and told me it wasn't something that he thought I needed to do, but if I felt like I wanted to (to move on) then he supported me, and would do everything he could to make it better. (He also wanted to go in because he wasn't sure how they would talk to me, and he was worried they would make me cry and feel bad). The meeting took like 2 and a half hours, and when I finally came out- he said he was just about to go in there and see if I was ok. Over the course of the two months he drove me to all the meetings, and picked me up. He was really supportive, and even though JW is something he would never have believed in, I think he bit his tongue many times because he knew I was trying to believe it again. A few JW's introduced themselves to him while he was in the lot waiting, and he was nice to them. He never made me feel bad or stupid for believing it, so that was really nice! And when I finally decided that it was no go, he didn't say 'I told you so'. I always felt really lucky to have found someone who was understanding of the situation, and let me figure it out for myself. Now that religion is not something between us, we have had a lot of good discussions about my past. The Judicial Meeting, disfellowshipping, lack of love, lying, damaged families, control- are all things he felt strongly against.

    My relationship with parents has changed a bit, and that's ok. When I first started dating my husband, I felt like I needed to keep it a secret. A lot of lying ensued trying to keep it to myself. Over the course of about 9 months, I lied a lot- so it was hard for everyone when I finally told them 'yeah, we're going out'. For about 2 months, we didn't speak. It was really upsetting, but I understood- and I was angry. Because we didn't get married right away, when we would visit my parents we stayed in a hotel. It was awkward at first, because my parents were defensive and disappointed. But my husband was such a nice guy, he was so patient, and didn't push anything with them. When we got married, my parents came and that was really nice. (It was a small wedding, due to the circumstances). Still to this day, I don't know if they cried because they were happy, or because they knew I wouldn't be going back to them. My mom sent me magazines and books, and when we would talk on the phone she would try and 'encourage' me to go back. I think part of the reason I did was to please them on some level, because I knew I had disappointed them so much before that. They really thought that at my second Judicial Meeting I would be D/Fed. I stopped going after the 2 months, and a few months later I went and visited my parents. Religion came up again (due to my mom having received the phone call from the sister I had studied with a few days before I arrived). We got in to a huge fight, and I basically told my mom I want nothing to do with it- and she admitted to me, that she does not like the congregation and would rather not go to meetings. (I was shocked because she always talked so positively about how good of a thing it was in her life, how much it had done for them..) Since then, we don't talk about it. Our relationship is good, but I feel it is a little different from how it was when I was at home, going to meetings. They don't attend many meetings anymore, so I am not sure what will happen in the future. I am just happy that now things are out in the open, and we can move on in our relationship!

  • lisavegas420

    Wow. thanks for sharing. I wish your husband had gone into the elders meeting with you. I wonder if they would have let him stay, or make you both leave.

    It sounds like you picked a winner husband. I'm glad you deserve it. He sounds very much like my husband, doesn't care for the religion, but would never try and tell me what I needed to do. If he had been disagreeable, I might have gone back full force.

    My parents had been shunning me for years before I got married. They still do, and didn't come to my wedding and have never met my grandchildren.

    I hope you can continue to keep a relationship with your parents. It might get sticky again when/if you have children.

    Good luck to a beautiful new beginning.

    looking forward to more posts.


  • snowbird

    Thanks for sharing your story, and welcome.

    You have a wonderful husband.


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