Saw a Therapist yesterday,,,,, interesting

by man in black 9 Replies latest jw experiences

  • man in black
    man in black

    I DA'ed myself two years ago, one of the main reasons was because my Mother died and the congregation was more interested in"meeting attendance, and service" than anything else. For the first time in 30 years the very conditional friendship offered by the jehovahs witnesses came to the fore, and I was literally blindsided by it.

    Several months later I attended a grief support group at our local hospital, and boy it was a real godsend for me, I realised that the so called "worldly people' could actually be nice, supportive, and lend a real listening ear. The hospital had one of their Grief Support Counselors lead the meeting, and she was really good at what she does. She made me realize that what I was feeling and going through was normal.

    Fast forward to the current time,

    Last week I took my dog May (she's a therapy dog) to the hospital and I ran into this counselor, she invited me to the office and she asked me how I was doing .

    She thought that maybe a follow up visit would be good, so yesterday afternoon after work I went back and got "evaluated" for depression.

    My Mom had a history of being depressed, but in the 60's methods of treatment were not as available as they are now.

    During the meeting she asked me about my spiritual beliefs/life. Well I told her the whole JW thing, and all throughout this she just nodded her head up and down. I finally got to the point where I explained the whole shunning thing, and she seemed quite aware of this aspect. She had heard about shunning before, and now she was now nodding her head side to side like she couldn't believe it either.

    In a psychological manner, she stated that this shunning behavior could be a very heavy stressor for somebody who is also dealing with a major loss. In other words it's like punching someone when they are already down.

    That really made me feel good in a strange way, the witnesses method of shunning was beginning to make me feel somewhat like a leper, the disgusted look that witnesses shoot and family members shunning me was starting to bother me.

    When I go back next week, she wants to discuss ways for me to get back a certain amount of spirituality outside of the witness mindset.

    I'll post what suggestions I receive

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    I am glad you ran into her again . Seems like just being able to have someone else validate our feelings can be a huge relief .

    I am going through similar feelings and I will be interested in hearing what else the therapist has to say to you .

  • Snoozy

    I'm surprised Spirituality was even mentioned as something to get back by a therapist.

    I didn't think they would touch that subject other than the JW thing, which we all know is NOT natural.

    But I encourage therapy for anyone that used to be a JW..


  • aSphereisnotaCircle

    I love validation in every form, it always feels good.

    You will never get it from the GB, you must go outside to find it.

  • Thetis

    I can so relate to what you are saying. Rejection is a huge issue for me. Even though I have only faded, many JW's treat me with disdain.

    I remember when I first stumbled onto Free Minds, I printed out a few of the stories and took these to my therapist. I wanted to make

    sure that she understood exactly what I was feeling and going through. This helped tremendously as I felt I couldn't always articulate what I

    was feeling. I guess I also wanted her to see I wasn't some kind of neurotic, and that others had a similar story too. (lol)

    As for discussing other religions, we often did - especially once I had been going for a while. Incidentally, she had also looked into

    the whole JW aspect. The shunning issue was mind boggling for her to understand. How do you equate love with shunning, especially if your only

    crime is not believing anymore! She has also seen first hand the devastating consequences of shunning, having a few JW's as "patients".

    I am sure you will benefit from therapy, especially if it's the right person who is able to understand the uniqueness of being a JW!

  • Thetis

    I apologize for the format! Unsure how to rectify but will get there, hopefully.

  • cantleave

    Shunning id bullying tactic used in playgrounds by children. For a religious organisation to use the same technique is deplorable.


    I'm so very proud of you, man in black!

    I too, have had therapy, lots of it. Therapy really does help, especially when you have someone who understands what you are going through...

    Keep up the growth work. It will keep you young!


  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Way to go , Man in Black! Keep us posted. You've found a great therapist.

  • NiceDream

    She sounds really helpful and caring. I'm happy that you're able to talk with her and found a good person to talk to.

    Shunning is so unnatural and unloving. ((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

    It's also wonderful that you have a therapy dog to bring joy to others and brighten their day.

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