What do I say?

by Miss Chievous 5 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  Miss Chievous

  A young man in my local cong has recently lost his mother due to her refusal to take blood. He is a believer and I obviously don't want to destroy his faith but what can I say to him that will comfort him without having to lie? I get so angry when I think about the situation he finds himself in - needlessly without his mother for the rest of his life (he is an only child too and they were very close), I don't want to go and see him while I am still so upset myself in case I say something wrong. Has anyone been through this kind of situation? How did you deal with it?

  Love,

  Miss C
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  cognizant dissident

  IMO, this is not the time to make an issue of the blood issue. He is now a most tragic victim of this policy and he needs comfort in his grief, not to be convinced his mother died for nothing. It can't be undone.

  I would just do what normal people do when someone dies. Go and visit and give him a hug and tell him your sorry and encourage him to tell you all the nice memories he has of his mom. He can figure out the rest himself when his grief is further behind him and his brain can handle it. It will either kick in or it won't.
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  Heaven

  Usually, I say to people "I hope one day you will see your loved one again."

  If they appear to be up to it, I ask them to tell me a little about the person or what special thing they remember the most. Do they have any interesting stories about that person? My goal is to bring some happiness into their heart at a sad time.
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  garyneal

  She died for what she believed in whether we agree with it or not. I recall a teenage girl in the Columbine shooting was killed because she would not renounce her faith in Christ. I'm not sure if that story is true or not but if it is certainly non-christians would think that that made no sense and believe that she died for nothing. Maybe she did, but who is anyone to judge.

  Just be a friend and a shoulder to cry on during these trying times in his life. I'm assuming that mom made the decision to refuse blood completely on her own. If that's the case, at least she died for something she believed in. Twisted as that may sound, that counts for something.
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  StAnn

  I had a case like this and was really afraid I wouldn't be able to control my big mouth. What I did was find out if there was any running or anything I could do to help with funeral arrangements. Come to find out, the woman really wanted a locket to put around her mother's neck with pics of the grandkids in it but didn't have time to go buy one and the funeral was the next morning. I went out in the middle of the night to a Meijer store that has a jewelry section and is open all night and was able to buy a locket. I took it to her first thing, before the viewing, so she could put the pics in it.

  I didn't really say anything except that I was sorry and that if I could do anything else to let me know. I didn't trust myself to say anything and the midnight shopping run helped work out a little of the tension I was feeling.

  My point is, don't say anything except "I'm so sorry" and see if there is anything meaningful you can do. After all, this is your friend and he's in pain right now.

  StAnn
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  cantleave

  Simply focus on what you can say and do what you can do.