Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses is a Negative, Depressing Thing To Do, but....

by AllTimeJeff 47 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • willyloman

    "Trying to believe the unbelievable and trying to be 'good' by following bad ideas and living up to bad standards hurt much much more, and it was constant."

    Words of iron.

  • AllTimeJeff

    Well, this sucks. I can't read any more replies all of a sudden on this thread.

    I guess its safest to assume then that I agree with all the statements that I can't read, and that you all agree with me.

  • AllTimeJeff

    Oh, nevermnind, Mozilla to the rescue!

  • besty
  • Balsam

    Yep is starts off as a negative thing because of the fears, till one learns to stop fearing the WTS because they find out it is all smoke and mirrors. I think each person must find the positive experiences and it happens gradually as they let go of the fears and conditioning. I've been out 9 years now and it is hands down the best decision I ever made.

  • peaches

    thank you...

  • Scott77


    Great article. My sympathy goes to those who have decided to end their lives in a tragic way through sucide. Those especially born in, their only world is the borg,the JW world of exclusion. Understandbly, it can be tough for them to come out. With nowhere to seek professional assistance, many end up hurt even more like those three examples of men Jeff provided.

    I would like to point out, that even within the non-JW world, there are problems, issues and stuff to deal with. The same apply to JW world. Its not all paradise as they want us to believe. Therefore, seeking professional assistance like social workers, psychiatrist, psychologist and cousellors will help to deal with emotional trauma. Peer support group like here at JWN and freeminds are great resouces. Unfortunately, JWs are not inclined to seek assistance from 'apostate' sites. It would be an extraordinary exercise of courage on their part to do so. Fortunately, many have done and are now happily learning more.

    That is an attituditional issue that must be overcome. The pace of exit from the borg will depend much on the level of one's conviction and faith as to whether its the truth or not. Family factor, social networking skills, innate strength as well as the nature of one's reponsibility in the borg are other factors to deal with. In the end, success is assured but it will depend again one's recognition that its not easy, require hard work to deprogram oneself, patience and perseverance will ultimately, make a difference in one's success in life after the borg. That is what Iam doing right now, having excit in 2006. Iam making progress every day of my life. That is it.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    very well written Jeff.

    For me, i truly believe leaving was a positive thing. Sure it started negitive with a bucket load of guilt and shame. I had developed severe depression (no surprise!) and after reading a pro meds book and a pro therapy book i decided i had to do this one alone. If i stayed i would have suicided.I left my wife and kids and moved into a unit that would be my salvation for the next two years. I worked through the pain and depression, as i changed the circumstances, ie; abandon JW's, the depression lifted and i no longer woke each day wishing i had not. I never took to drugs and to this day have never tried cigarettes either. Got drunk twice and found i didn't like it... it made me too ill to do stupid stuff while drunk! As i started to explore sex again i was careful, i had a few so to speak but over the next 12 years i was able to focus on 3 women who were very healing to me in all ways, the last one, i married and is the star of my life.

    Being d/f didnt hurt me as all my siblings were already out and by then i was pissed off with all my friends anyway as they had abandoned me even before i was d/f. I went and found new friends, better friends.

    It was i will admit again, a painful time. It was some sort of re-birth to me, I feel lucky that i was strong enough to resist the urge to destroy myself back then. My pain period lasted about 3 years i guess. Then followed as of now, 9 years of joyous growth as a person, self discovery and just plain happyness and contentment. The only fly in the ointment is my ex wife and the battle for the children. But even that i can keep in its compartment and not let it take over my life.

    I suppose that if i had gone totally wild, partied hard and as the Watchtower likes to promote, ended up with AIDS, addicted to drugs and with no conscience etc i may well be saying leaving was the worst thing i did to my life... Like you though, i will not judge those who have ended up in this sort of situation. The Watchtower society created such a fairytale world that made it almost impossible for ones who leave to be able to navigate the real world. If you leave and still have armageddon immenent in your brain, the temptation to 'party till the lights go out' can be pretty strong.

    This is actually one of my fears for my teenage children... on one hand the moral code they seek to instill can be a protection but if they dont have that in their lives will they go down the path of drunk driving/drugs/sex/etc and wipe themselves out? I know many teenagers in the 'world' do not so i see it as one of my duties to not only remove them from this so called religion but to guide them to a fullfilling life as much as i can.

    for me, leaving Jehovah's Witnesses was a positive, uplifting thing to do, but... had a negitive start to the journey.



  • Lieu

    ..... no it isn't

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life


    I agree with some of the other posters that there is more than 3 ways to leave. There are those of us that that were born-ins that left before we were baptized.

    It is a very negative upbringing. And that is something that we have to deal with the rest of our lives. It is possible to change your attitude. But it takes work and effort to counteract the negativity of our childhoods and adolescence.

    I think any of us that leave have to deal at some time with what it did to us. It can be depressing to look back but I think it is necessary in order to go forward in a healthy way. There was damage done to all of us. I chose to ignore that for many years. I am now going back and facing it.

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