im so worried about my daughter ,need some advice please !

by looloo 24 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  ziddina

  I hate mentioning this, and it may be a REALLY bad idea...

  But has the man ever been charged with his crime? Any evidence that he's molested other girls? (Far more likely than you might think...)

  Have you people kept an eye on him in whatever congregation he's at now, and is it possible he's molesting a young girl currently???

  Would your daughter have the strength to go thru a court trial that might - and unfortunately, might NOT - put him behind bars - WHERE HE BELONGS!!??!!

  Would putting him behind bars - or at least putting forth your best effort to do so - give your daughter a sense of closure???

  Keep in mind that what I've just suggested would be VERY difficult...

  Think of it as comparable to getting ready for an expedition to climb Mount Everest... (Cho Lung Ma...)

  Hope this helps; be sure to talk to a district attorney - or a social worker - or at least a policeman/woman who is on the "special victims" squad - before you proceed...

  Best results to your daughter; she may want to join a "sexual victims" survivors' group, or an "incest survivors"group...

  Helped me a lot...

  Zid
• 

  TheOldHippie

  My daughter was abused at the age of 13 and is now 20. Please send me a personal message or whatever it is called, PM, as I think these questions are too serious and too personal to be published for the whole world to see.

  Take care, TOH
• 

  looloo

  truthlover and ziddina im afraid we got not no justice , as in 2005 when she was 17 (4 years after abuse ) she finally admitted to me that the man who i had always had a "gut feeling" about had actually abused her , i reported him to the police and two more victims , by now aged about 30 came forward , investigation went on for ages and he was charged with 14 charges against 3 girls between the 80s and 2002 while a min servant he had abused 1 st girl and had been just reprooved leaving him free to rape and abuse in the cong again and after he was disfellowshipped for an affair with another young pioneer he eventually raped my girl . we waited 20 months to get to court only to be told my girls charges had to be dropped due to lack of evidence but not to worry as they would get him for the other 2 victims we were gutted ! the defence did a deal with prosecuters and he admitted 4 charges and 10 more were dropped in an exchange for a guilty plea , in court the defence made out my girl made up the allegations as she knew about his previous victims !!!!!! and his wife (my ex best friend ) said as far as she was concerned what he had done to the 1st 2 victims was in "the past " and she did not believe my girl despite her mentioning abuse happening in the same remote places that victim 2 mentioned despite not seeing eachother for years , their statements matched ! she was called a liar aswell as the other victims by his family and wishes she had never bothered rporting it , we went to hell and back all for nothing but public humiliation , as even though victims arnt named many did know who she was . molester was given 3 years in prison then came back to town and got the job back off his boss who believed him , was i mad and left town !yy
• 

  ziddina

  Yeah, I was afraid of that.... No wonder your daughter is having trouble with that slimeworm's past actions... It would have been far more justifying to have seen him brought to TRUE justice...

  Having said that, I'm going to PM you with a few ideas that I CANNOT post in public...

  Zid
• 

  nugget

  Looloo it took me well over 20 years to even begin to put things behind me. That doesn't mean that it affected me as badly as your daughter but it did haunt me. You think you are ok and then suddenly you are reminded and you are not. The flashbacks, reliving the events and trying to make them different are all after effects. She has little control of these and it is like carrying a corpse around with you constantly.

  If she is no further forward then she may need to seek a different therapist or an alternative approach. Bulimia can be about having control of something as well as being about self loathing.

  I feel for you both it is as traumatic to watch a loved on suffer as it is to be a victim. She has to rebuild her self esteem, and self confidence from scratch and be able to have experienced the tragedy but be able to move on from it. If you need to talk feel free to PM me.
• 

  peaches

  i'm afraid i will get in real trouble if i post what i am thinking...........find out if he is one of the annointed now.
• 

  VoidEater

  I was abused for 12 years by an elder.

  My path to recovery included therapy for something like 15 years, about 5 years on several medications. The meds allowed my physiology to calm and "reset" in a way, while the talk therapy helped me understand what had happened and consciously work towards healthier beliefs and behaviors.

  I also used EMDR and Hakomi techniques (based in Zen meditation) to work more on the PTSD and become more self-aware. Buddhist practice played a part in my healing.

  I didn't feel like a human until I was 40. I felt like an object. I had been dissociated most of my life, and had symptoms that looked like autism when younger, as a way to escape the self-loathing and revulsion of living I experienced. I didn't truly feel safe until my molester was dead.

  There are moments when I caught up in the past, but these are more rare as time goes by, shorter as times go by, and less drastic.

  So...yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel. But it does take intervention and work to become a survivor, rather than a victim.

  I don't mind answering questions in public or private.
• 

  looloo

  voideater, my heart goes out to you , did you get justice ? were your family supportive ? where are you at now in life ? did he abuse others ? thanks for sharing your experiance x
• 

  finallyfree!

  So sick how the society harbors these sickos and then their twisted policy on dealing with pedophiles. If that were my kid his face would be on the back of a milk carton..sick bastards!!
• 

  moshe

  Electroshock therapy, done under anesthesia, might be in order here. Sounds drastic and it is, but it can accomplish in some cases more in a few treatments for a depressed person, than what a years worth of drugs and counseling can only attempt. I had a friend who was suffering and after a year of little sleep, depression and suicide thoughts ( the $$ benefit for that therapy was exhausted on his insurance at that point) he was referred to a clinic that used electroshock therapy. He spent 4 days in the clinic and received three treatments. I couldn't believe the change in him a month later- he was smiling, laughing, full on pep- jumping out of bed every morning. Of course, a doctor who makes his money from drugs and "talk" therapy might not mention that treatment option.