When Did You KNOW?

by Cthulhu 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cthulhu
    Cthulhu

    I and another semi former Witless (he's inactive and doesn't actually believe any of the bs) were having a conversation over some beer last night and Watchtower Land came up into discussion. I told him that at some point, long before I actually stopped being physically present at the meetings I just KNEW that I wouldn't be a dub forever. I remember the fact that I did not even want to admit this to myself and I spent a long long time denying the thought and trying to reestablish "the truth" in my mind. Yet, in the back of my mind always stayed that thought, that knowledge, that someday I wouldn't be able to hold on any longer. He told me that he had the same experience SEVEN YEARS before he finally stopped going.

    So I noticed that this may be a pattern. I'm curious, how many of you had a similar experience AND how long did it take you to leave after you had that moment of truth, that sudden shocking realization?

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I had actually planned to fake it for the sake of family at least until my parents passed away but when I realized the hounders weren't going to let me 'weaken' and slow-fade I had to quit cold-turkey. I have no family in my local congregation so they don't really know yet. I'm still not sure how to break it to them.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Ever since the 1995 change in "generation" I was full of doubt about the doctrines. I struggled on. I decided around 2001 to pioneer for a year, giving Jehovah a full opportunity to let the holy spirit use me and make me more sure of "the truth." Halfway through that year, I began to go to the public library on a regular basis and looked up what scholars were saying about many things. I wasn't reading so-called "apostate" information, just research from Christendom and scholarly sources.

    I was still struggling along, not sure about the organization.

    It changed quickly in 2005/2006. I was the chairman of a judicial committee that dealt with an innocent virginal girl in her young 20's. One jerk of an elder went around me and called Bethel in order to control the outcome and wanted to totally embarass the girl in front of the congregation in order to make an example of her to the congregation. He got his way and I was told to be the one to embarass her as the chairman. Hurricane Katrina happened and I had a problem with the Regional Building Committee (RBC) about going down to help with the rebuilding. I was kicked off a bus going down there because I wasn't a plumber, electrician, or carpenter. I found out later that the wives and children of a couple of RBC members were on that bus, and they had enjoyed a great picnic on the last day. I was prepared to bust my back for people, I had experience with Hurricane Hugo and Andrew back in the day. I saw that the organization was not about the individuals at all.

    Sometime right after that happened, I felt free to go to the internet and investigate, this time including ANY sources including apostate ones. Once I started reading freeminds.org and jwfact.com, I knew I was in a dangerous mind-control cult. I knew. The rest of my self-education was extremely important to me but I already knew there was no turning back.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    A year after getting baptized I was at a convention watching some "apostates" picketing across the street. I wondered how much more shit I would have to take before I became one myself. Unfortunately I used to have a high threshold for bullshit and I stuck it out for many years, mostly because of my spouse and mom.

    I would have been much, much better off if I left as soon as I saw what utter shit the people were.

    W

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    I just could feel my joy ebbing away day by day from around 1998 onwards...and everything I tried to recapture it failed...meetings that I used to love became a drudge with endless WT material and fewer scriptures...

    Loz x

  • aSphereisnotaCircle
    aSphereisnotaCircle

    I was still a dub when my first husband and I split up. I knew immediately that there was no way I would marry another JW.

  • Lady Viola
    Lady Viola

    When I heard the comments at the meeting on the KM Questions-box of 9/7 about 'Does “the faithful and discreet slave” endorse independent groups of Witnesses who meet together to engage in Scriptural research or debate?—Matt. 24:45, 47'...

    I heard the comments and thought 'these people must be brainwashed!'. Even bro/sis who I considered as quite intelligent people answered as complete zombies! It was shocking... From that time on, I started to search on the internet. And I think that I refound my friendship with God and Jesus last year. It took me 1 year before I could pray again after that evening.

    This is the Question-box I am talking about, by the way:
    "Does “the faithful and discreet slave” endorse independent groups of Witnesses who meet together to engage in Scriptural research or debate?—Matt. 24:45, 47.

    No, it does not. And yet, in various parts of the world, a few associates of our organization have formed groups to do independent research on Bible-related subjects. Some have pursued an independent group study of Biblical Hebrew and Greek so as to analyze the accuracy of the New World Translation. Others explore scientific subjects related to the Bible. They have created Web sites and chat rooms for the purpose of exchanging and debating their views. They have also held conferences and produced publications to present their findings and to supplement what is provided at our Christian meetings and through our literature.

    Throughout the earth, Jehovah’s people are receiving ample spiritual instruction and encouragement at congregation meetings, assemblies, and conventions, as well as through the publications of Jehovah’s organization. Under the guidance of his holy spirit and on the basis of his Word of truth, Jehovah provides what is needed so that all of God’s people may be “fitly united in the same mind and in the same line of thought” and remain “stabilized in the faith.” (1 Cor. 1:10; Col. 2:6, 7) Surely we are grateful for Jehovah’s spiritual provisions in these last days. Thus, “the faithful and discreet slave” does not endorse any literature, meetings, or Web sites that are not produced or organized under its oversight.—Matt. 24:45-47.

    It is commendable for individuals to want to use their thinking ability in support of the good news. However, no personal pursuit should detract from what Jesus Christ is accomplishing through his congregation on earth today. In the first century, the apostle Paul warned about getting involved in exhausting, time-consuming subjects, such as “genealogies, which end up in nothing, but which furnish questions for research rather than a dispensing of anything by God in connection with faith.” (1 Tim. 1:3-7) All Christians should strive to “shun foolish questionings and genealogies and strife and fights over the Law, for they are unprofitable and futile.”—Titus 3:9.

    For those who wish to do extra Bible study and research, we recommend that they explore Insight on the Scriptures, “All Scripture Is Inspired of God and Beneficial,” and our other publications, such as those that discuss the prophecies found in the Bible books of Daniel, Isaiah, and Revelation. These provide abundant material for Bible study and meditation, whereby we can be “filled with the accurate knowledge of [God’s] will in all wisdom and spiritual comprehension, in order to walk worthily of Jehovah to the end of fully pleasing him as [we] go on bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the accurate knowledge of God.”—Col. 1:9, 10."

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