by highdose 14 Replies latest jw friends
Iwill be the first to say that i did. not surprising considering how they treated me all my life. I had conseling for it ( wordly counselor) but between us neither one could work out where this issue came from. I of course never mentioned that i was a JW.
The moment i made the decision to leave the cult, my problems with self hatred evaporated! now that says alot i reckon!
Not exactly 'self hatred'; but certainly complete lack of self esteem.
I was always made to feel useless, every time they asked for volunteers etc.
I was never selected to do anything, I remember when Bristol Ass. Hall was being built;
I wasn't even good enough to do weeding in the grounds!
People with good healthy self-esteem make poor sheeple.
If they can keep you feeling bad about yourself they can control you.
All cults use this tactic.
Yep still do. The more involved I get the more depressed I feel.
The self loathing eventually goes away. It is definitely a weight lifted.
i had counselling also while still "in" and did not mention the jw thing , the self loathing stoppped when i stopped going to th hall
I dont know about self hatred, but definitely felt crappy about who I was. I never felt good enough, what with all that constant self examination. Now I have a much healthier and more balanced view of myself. As a song says "learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all"
Much of my self loathing disappeared, yes. Because I realised that being a bad Witness actually made me a good person, not a bad one! I wasn't wrong about all the things I thought like people had been telling me, trying to make me feel like I was the black-sheep. I felt the way I did because I actually cared about people and I cared about their lives and their freedoms over my own reward. If felt great!
I of course never mentioned that i was a JW.
I did the same thing. I got tons of prescription drugs that helped to numb my feelings, but was afraid to tell too much. Just incase.
lisa
Interesting that several here would not mention to their Counselors that they were JWs. Boy the long arm of threatening powers that be.
The Counselors must have really been scratching their heads trying to figure out the root cause. So glad to hear the road to recovery is going well.
