Alternate Word Definitions

by closer2fine 0 Replies latest social humour

  • closer2fine


    The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which
    readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for
    various words. The following were some of this year's
    winning entries:

    1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight
    you have gained.

    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a
    flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent

    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
    absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

    7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you
    up after you are run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor
    assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines

    13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation
    with Yiddish expressions.

    14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer

    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you
    die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.


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