Wife love-bombed...HELP ME!

by Mad Sweeney 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  flipper

  MAD SWEENEY- I agree very much with what TruthseekerIam said. Help is on the way bro ! Keep sane, I know it's hard.

  Here is a quote from Steve Hassan in " Releasing the Bonds " that may help you get some perspective on your wife's situation : He states," I believe that real love is stronger than conditional love. The love that family members and close friends have for a person is much more powerful than ANY relationship within a mind control cult. Relationships in mind control groups are usually based on the conditions of obedience and membership. Once the member passes through the " honeymoon " phase and these conditions are made evident, friends and family have the potential for increasing a positive influence OVER TIME. Time is on their side because mind control is NEVER 100 percent, because the human spirit wants to be free, and because, ultimately, cults DO NOT DELIVER WHAT THEY PROMISE. "

  Your wife has her REAL personality the one she was born with underneath her " cult " personality. These JW friends of hers are appealing to the conditional cult personality in your wife, trying to make her feel special - but only temporarily. If she misses meetings, service as time progresses her supposed " friends " interest in her will wane. As we know with all the " time of the end " and " generation " changes the JW cult will NEVER deliver on it's promises so as time goes on she'll see this AND injustices occurring with elders in positions of power.

  One suggestion you may do personally ( which Steve Hassan suggests ) is to make plans with your wife and keep her busy in non-witness activities so more of her AUTHENTIC and REAL non-cult personality will come forward in your lives. For example : Take her out on a date, go listen to live music . Go walking together, ride bikes, play tennis, anything that brings you two closer in a REAL non-cult way. What are you and her hobbies you enjoy together ? Do those together. Keep her busy - so the JW cult won't. The more you pursue activities together that are beneficial in REAL life - then it will crowd out opportunities for the JW cult to seep in. Just my 2 cents, good luck buddy, hang in there, be patient , it's not as bad as you think. I'll throw you a rope, you can come off the cliff now ! LOL! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
• 

  fluke

  All things will pan out, enthusiasm wanes in time... The initial part is the best and in time you will see that she will be brought around... On her own though...
• 

  BabaYaga

  Mad Sweeney, I agree with the posters who are telling you not to be too concerned over this reaction to the "lovebombing". I would like to add that sometimes zealousness is a last-ditch effort... or a reaction to having doubts (one hopes to heal oneself from having doubts by doing MORE in Jehovah's "service". That reaction usually doesn't last long, either.)

  And Mr. Flipper, thank you for the Hassan quote. It is an awesome reminder.

  "I believe that real love is stronger than conditional love. The love that family members and close friends have for a person is much more powerful than ANY relationship within a mind control cult. Relationships in mind control groups are usually based on the conditions of obedience and membership. Once the member passes through the " honeymoon " phase and these conditions are made evident, friends and family have the potential for increasing a positive influence OVER TIME. Time is on their side because mind control is NEVER 100 percent, because the human spirit wants to be free, and because, ultimately, cults DO NOT DELIVER WHAT THEY PROMISE. "
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  choosing life

  Does your wife know about the concept of love-bombing? Sometimes just reminding yourself of the reason they are really showing you attention helps you to take a step back. Maybe a reminder is in order.

  Hang on, the first year is the hardest. It takes time to rethink life without "paradise." Even if she goes back to the meetings, it won't last. She needs time to make a transition. Give her time and space, she will come around.
• 

  thetrueone

  This is reason why I think its harder for woman to pull away from this cult,

  love bombing works well on their emotionally charged thinking, setting critical thinking skills on the back burner.

  Mind you love bombing can work just as well on men but then tend to be more analytical.

  Now is the time to pull up your socks Mad Sweeney and take a stand against corruption.

  Show some personal and intellectual integrity.