What kind of men do women want?

by FlyingHighNow 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • John Doe
    John Doe
    One day a little cat was walking through the park when he came across a pond. He peered into the pond and noticed that at the bottom of the pond there was a little cocktail sausage. The cat was feeling quite peckish so as the water wasn't that deep he reached in with his little paw and hooked the sausage out and ate it.

    The next day the cat was walking through the park again and he peered into the pond again - there was another sausage but this time it was a normal sized one so the cat reached in but this time he had to put his whole arm into the pond. The cat hooked the sausage out and ate it.

    The next day the cat looked into the pond and found an enormous Cumberland sausage at the bottom of the pond - it looked so delicious but it was so deep that he had to really stretch to get it, then SPLOSH - he fell in.

    The moral of the story is: The bigger the sausage - the wetter the *****.
  • FlyingHighNow
  • FlyingHighNow

    I love that John. I can think of a few people who will appreciate that one. I'm going to forward that one to the prayer warriors. A lot of them love bawdy humor.

  • FlyingHighNow

    I got this gem from the Prayer Warriors just this morning:

    A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Missionin the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when herealizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.

    So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.
    He points to a tree andsays to the chief, 'This is a tree.'

    The chief looks at the tree and grunts, 'Tree.'

    The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he
    points to a rock and says, 'This is a rock.'

    Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, 'Rock.'

    The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears
    a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple ofnatives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

    The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, 'Man riding a bike.'

    The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them.

    The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years
    teaching how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so howcould he kill these people in cold blood that way?

    The chief replied, 'My bike.'

    Enjoy your day and remember to keep off the roads when riding someone elses bicycle!

  • FlyingHighNow

    And if you don't have it, fake it.

  • leec

    whatever sizzles your twizzler.

  • Robdar

    I can only speak for this woman: Honor, integrity, intelligence, protective, sense of humor, acceptance, a willingness to forgive, and an embrace I can melt into.

  • Outaservice

    Happy Wife

    Happy Life

    4 words to remember.


  • Fe2O3Girl

    My husband has cooked a different meal every night this year, including:

    Scallops with garlic and parsley

    Minted lamb burgers

    Duck pate

    Roast leg of venison

    Pheasant breasts with juniper cream sauce

    Pheasant sausages

    He is attempting to prepare a different meal every day this year. Only trouble is, I am not going to get the really good ones again until next year!

  • FlyingHighNow

    Robyn, all good things. I hoped you'd show up. Outaservice, very true. Fe, sounds very delicious. Does he wear a frilly apron when he cooks? They say the key to longevity in a relationship or marriage is to find someone you like. If you like someone, you'll get a long better and enjoy the relationship. Like lasts when looks or money go south.

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