Why am I Renouncing My JW Faith...Part 3

by tjlibre 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • tjlibre

    Describing your personality in writing is a challenging task. They say that body language represents 85% of our communication, obviously you can’t see my face as I give this account. The following might probably make me sound like a prideful person, but I’ll like to say that I’m far from that. But I’m a confident individual, I work hard at what I do and I like to learn… having said, that my story continues as follows…..

    (I’ll call the elder I was fond of Sudden Change elder)

    Remember my father’s background, taking the lead is in my genes. I can’t help it. The skills that I developed as a result of a very inquiring mind, coupled with my secular background and teaching experience (at HS level) gain me the reputation of being good JW cong. teacher. I always strived to give good parts, and my objective always was to show balance and love in my words, even when the material was very hard, I’ll find ways to soften the message. The brothers and sisters showed loved and respect towards me, many viewed me as an elder way before being appointment as such.

    It latter became evident to me that instead of seeing me as an asset, some member of the BOE where harvesting negative feelings towards me. I’m not going to portrait my self as a victims, in retrospect I feel that at times I should of tame down the way I used to defend myself when I was right, I cornered older elders many times in some discussions regarding policy and procedures. The duplicity found in the WT publication provides with a weapon that can be used against old procedures and stiff shepherding. Quite too often I used this to my advantage, obviously to the dislike of some elders.

    The “Sudden Change” elder became the PO, one day he approached me with a decisions that he made that affected me and my wife. Without going into the details, the decision that he made was intended to make my life unreasonably more difficult with demands far beyond the ones called for in my position as a MS. I had a discussion with him, after supporting that I felt that I had the right to object to his demands, the elder went ballistic to the point I got the feeling that he was going to physically hurt me. This episode broke my heart, I cried and felt terrible because he was the last person I expected a reaction like this toward me. I called another elder, explained he situation, arranged a meeting and I apologized to the elder I was fond of (even dough I was right) I did so hoping that we’ll continue having a good relationship. Boy was I wrong…the years that followed this elder embarked on a personal mission to crush my reputation and spirit, in his position as the PO he felt that he had the power to push me around as much as he could. One night after a MS and elders meeting, some of us were hanging around in the KH parking lot, one of the elders said to me in a playful tone “if I were you I would not stand in from of bro. “Sudden Change’s” car, you know he doesn’t like you too much and could run you over”. It was a known fact to the congregation’s “in-the-known” crowd that this brother actually hated me.

  • tjlibre


    How could a person change so suddenly? Isn’t he supposed to be a mature Christian that should be reflecting a Christ like attitude? After so many years of working under his wings, how could he harvest feelings of hatred towards me? Is this the way that a HS appointed person should behave?

    My spirit was broken, I dumb down my teaching skills, my talks became doll and dry. I wanted out, I verbally renounced my to my position as a MS. They didn’t let me. I then began to seriously question the validity of the HS works in the Cong. I asked Jehovah to revealed to me the lesson that he was trying to teach me.

    What I thought to be his answer came in the form of a new body of elder being form as a result of the suggestion from the CO, a new PO (I’ll call him Org. Man) came to the congregation, changes were made. I later learned that “Sudden Change” elder was blocking my appointment as an elder for many years.

    The changes I though would bring about an improvement to the spirit of the BOE, the cong and my shaken confidence in the HS works in the organization, only served as another catalyst that further confirmed to me the need to do a deep soul search and embark on an investigation of the spirit behind the WT organization…

  • Outaservice

    If this Elder hated you, he really would have disliked me! I'd get right in his face every chance I could!


  • recovering

    I am confused , in another post you claimed to be an elder " I’m a very active elder."

    On this thread you say you are a MS who was blocked from being an elder. Did i miss something ?

    I am just looking for a little clarification :)

  • freewilly01

    sent you a PM

  • tjlibre

    Hi recovering, I'm an active elder now. I was explaining the part of the story before my appointment. I'll explain more in part 4.

  • tjlibre

    freewilly01, got your PM. Will respond shortly. Thanks

  • pat1060

    What was wrong with this elder.I have heard of so many awful things going on in the name of HS....testing the br.Looking for part 4...sent you a PM.

  • recovering

    ah much clearer after reading the next part of your story thanks

  • OnTheWayOut

    Sometimes I wonder what would have been better.
    In this case, I wonder if you would have gotten out sooner if they didn't change the elders.

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