Helping those out, that I helped put in, or just stop meddling?

by undertheradar 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • undertheradar

    I was wrong when I was so sure I was right before.

    I feel a responsibility but I am confused.

    Also, any ideas for preparing vulnerable family members prior to pulling the rug out from under them?

  • MsDucky

    They will, probably, think that you're "demonized" now. I don't know if they will listen. You may be able to get across to the ones that are "spiritually weak" so to speak. Who knows?

  • AllTimeJeff

    What did it take for you to discover the truth about da troof™?

    If a family member sincerely telling you that your religion was wrong didn't do the trick, it is doubtful you would be able to pull it off.

    Sometimes it is coincidence, other times, a direct exposure to facts can help, but it really depends on each family member.

    I know I wouldn't have listened until I was ready to re-examine my beliefs honestly. If someone isn't there yet, it is best to be patient, imo.

  • treadnh2o

    Be careful.

    You may try to pull the rug out....

    and only end up hurting your back.

  • Satanus

    Since you are partly responsible for getting them in, it would be the right thing to do, to make an attempt at rescuing them. Slow and easy, does it. If you gave it a conserted effort, and they continued to refuse, then your responsibility is finished, imo. Parts of the responsibility is w the wt org and of course, the person who decided to become a jw.


  • undertheradar

    Thanks for the advice.

    I think I just need to be patient and test the water now and again.

    And yes quite true AllTimeJeff.

  • BabaYaga

    If you have not read them yet, pick up one or both of the Steven Hassan books... they are a great help in understanding and dealing with the cult mindset and/or experience, and they help you have patience in approaching your loved ones still in. His titles are "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and "Releasing the Bonds".

  • AllTimeJeff

    Don't feel responsible. Yes, you were tricked and indoctrinated. So was I. I promise you, you haven't done what others have. I was an elder and missionary.

    But you could look at it this way too... Remember Ray Franz? He was on the GB. For years, he tacitly gave support to an organization that harmed others and knowingly lied and ignored evidence, ignoring the growing voice that was his conscience that something wasn't right. At some point, he listened to that voice, and left.

    Did he feel responsible? Yes, and he did what you and I and others are doing now, exposing the WTBTS for what it really is. He told his story. Did everyone leave because Ray Franz left? No. They left when they were ready. But at least a path was blazed for them. Suddenly, even though those who left were isolated, they weren't alone.

    So please, don't be too hard on yourself. Blaze a trail for others in your own fashion. Do what you can. You won't be able to do what others do, and maybe you can do more then still others. It's up to you. It's exciting in a way for you to unleash your individuality.

    My advice for your loved ones that you are concerned about, a small lesson I have learned and am still learning, love them. Forgive them. Forgive yourself. I don't mean for that to sound trite. But its important. Some won't always feel the way they do today, and if and when they wake up, who will they turn to?

    Hopefully, you! But there is some trailblazing, some heavy lifting, some leadership to do. Leadership is a misunderstood thing, because often, it is exhibited when no one is around to observe, until you are needed for others to run to what you have built.

    However, do it for yourself first. You are allowed. Don't allow looking at your past to take the attention off you. You have needs to, so don't ignore them. Heal first, and give others a picture of what that looks like. That vision of a happy you could be what will help the most!

    Good luck. :)

  • etna

    Thats true alltimejeff, we have to be patient, but sometimes bringing up your kids in the truth, its hard to expose them and if you try they will shun you. I wish I knew how to talk and explain some of the lies without being to harsh.


  • Farkel

    When the student is ready, the teacher will come.

    It's more up to them, than it is up to you. You would be nothing more than a) a facilitator if they are ready to know the real truth or b) an enemy if they aren't.


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