How to Deal With Boy Conflicts?

by sweet pea 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • sweet pea
    sweet pea

    Hi all

    Just wanted some input on a dilemma a friend is having.

    Her son was punched the other day in the privates by one of his best friends (they are 8 years old) - the parents are best friends too. The son now doesn't want to see the other boy and the whole situation, especially the way the other parents are dealing with the matter (not making the boy apologise in person), is putting a serious strain on all the relationships.

    What would you do in this situation?

  • Simon
    Simon

    Leave it ... they will forget about it and decide to play together (or not).

    Adults forcing the situation will probably make it worse and lead to longer-term resentment.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Obviously, the other boy needs to be kicked in the balls, and kick both his parents in the balls, too.

    No apology needed, right?

  • creativhoney
    creativhoney

    never fall out over your kids squabbles.

    the kids will all be mates again in no time resulting in 'what you said'

    happened to two friends of mine - similar situation, all playing, one went for his nuts, shouted 'nutcracker' made him cry, mum accused son of other mum of being a pedo.. (even though they were all kids) huge fallout for years. kids still friends..

    pointless.

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    Sometimes, events cause relationships to thrive or fizzle out.

    It may be that the best option is to do nothing. Explain to the child what is going on and why. If either kid is uncomfortable in the others presence, then that is all that is needed. A decision has been made by the most important person.

    In time, (esp considering that the kids are 8) things may change. I would avoid overreacting. Some time apart and some time to cool down isn't overreacting.

    Besides, if the other kids parents won't help their child to apologize, you have a great head start with this particular family. You know and understand some limits from the future.

    If I were the parent, I would sit down with the other parents, say that our friendship is fine, that these things happen, and that you have decided not to force anything. Wish them well, and go to Burger King.

    or...

    If you feel an apology is in order, then sit down and explain why. If the other parents are adamant that no apology is forthcoming, then the only decision to make is to what extent you can associate with this family without sending mixed signals to your kids. They trump old friendships.

  • besty
    besty

    if (when) it is my son I will ask him if he hit the other boy back - if not, why not?

    and I wouldn't let my son tell me that he wasn't going to see the other boy, particularly given that his refusal messed up plans laid on by the other family

    I would force my son to confront the other boy or forget it altogether - his choice. But letting an 8 year old make a poor choice by effectively ducking an issue would not be on the list of options.

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