omg, lovely comments, thank you, would like to address them personally...
but YES, - stuckinarut2, all those things you mentioned:
- 12 hours of service every month,
- be at every meeting,
- answer at least twice,
- bring studies,
- conduct family worship,
- do personal study of the organization's publications,
- not associate with non-witnesses...
(and I will add some here! So fun!)
- cleaning/repairing/buying/selling/renovating Kingdom Halls,
- counting all your field service hours & literature placement$ (but nowhere on that slip is a spot to say that you placed an actual BIBLE!);
- and don't be involved in any other charity or good work except the placement of WT literature & the building of KHs & huge branch facilities! - which are the only and best and most wonderful acts of charity and kindness there ever could be -- all those silly things like helping needy or destitute people by giving them food, clothing or shelter produces only scavenging, useless "rice Christians" who could never appreciate the awesomeness of the tracts and those flimsy magazines! -- and which are the only and most awesome thing needed today in these momentous(TM) times.
(Excuse me while I choke).
Because of course Jesus said all these things.
Jesus clearly commanded or told us to do all those things mentioned above --
- (and even more! Oh, oh! So exciting!) - I just thought of the wonderful and blessed gift of the special elder's-only book -- (even though we are all one and are united and have no leader) --
It is quite clear that Jesus -- or, excuse me, Jehovah himself said all those things, or Jehovah through Jesus -- told us that we need to do all those things.
It is all clearly laid out for us in the Bible (while keeping our load light and refreshing...)
It is all stated very clearly for us in the Bible at... uhhhh... In the bible book of.... Well, you know. Those very important words that Jesus said were also surely referenced quite clearly in those visions claimed by John, in some really wild Revelations to all those letters to those troubled congregations. Yes, we can read all about that counsel to the congregations. Please turn with me to Revelation.... (Ha! Did you notice my clever bait-and-switch? The red herring? The non-sequiturs? The wiggle and squirm and saying something else totally off topic and attempting to induce guilt at the same time? (Jesus' words turning into 'counsel'!) bah!!!
... Must ... Come ... Back ... To... Reality....
Whew. Hasn't this been refreshing...?