Ideas about how to find my brother.....?

by tyydyy 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • tyydyy

    When I was 17 my older brother went to bethel. Our whole family was so proud that we had someone in high places. LOL Well it didn't last long. After only 6 months we got a phone call from Donnie saying that he had been disfellowshipped and they were sending him home on the next flight. It was very confusing for me because at that time I was a "very good little witness". I talked to him only once even though he was living next door for a couple of months after he got back. I remember feeling so torn. I wanted to do what was "right" but this was my brother. I still loved him. I remember crying a lot.
    I had the one conversation with him (which I felt very guilty about) and asked him if he planned to come back into the "truth" (as if he chose to leave). He said that he wanted to come back but he felt like noone would ever respect him again. I told him he was wrong and that after he was reinstated in time he would have the respect he deserved. He tried going to the meetings and was regular for 6 months. The local "brothers" even sent a letter to society reccomending his reinstatement. They turned it down saying that it hadn't been enough time. Shortly after that he quit going to the meetings and was just struggling to get by. He had no education other than high school and no trade skills. One day his income tax refund check came in. He got all his taxes back that he paid. ($250.00) My dad made arrangements to meet him at the bank so my brother could just sign over the check to pay back the society for the plane ticket home. Imagine that. He works for free for 6 months and then when they kick him out and send him home, they expect him to pay for the plane ticket. Anyway, he showed up at the bank, my dad handed him the check and my brother turned to walk out of the bank. My dad told him that if he walked out the door he wouldn't have him as a son anymore. He walked out the door and we haven't seen him since.
    A few yrs later we recieved a birth announcement for his first (maybe only...I don't know) son from his wife. She mentioned that he still loved his family and that he missed them but the religion wasn't for him. That was the last contact I've heard of from him and that was 17 yrs ago.

    I have tried searching for him on the internet. (you wouldn't believe how many Donald Eugene Bridges there are out there. I have tried calling his "worldly" relatives. (they haven't heard from him either) I even paid $50 for a professional search and didn't get anywhere.
    The last place I know that he lived was Torrance Cal. I heard a rumor that he had joined the Air Force and I confirmed that but he is not active anymore and they won't give me anymore info. I know his birthday (5/13/62 Dallas, Texas) but I don't know his Social Security Number. He was adopted and his birth father has the exact same name living here in Texas. I called him and he hasn't spoken to him for 25 yrs.

    Any suggestions? I need to find him and make things right again.


  • nelly136

    do you have the salvation army over there?
    I know over here that many people use them to track
    down long lost relatives, how they do it or how much it costs
    I know, is there someone like that over in your country?

  • kenny2

    Call DPS in austin and check what the requirements are for finding drivers license info on someone. It is public record and I do believe all you need is full name and birthday. If he is not in TX then all I can say would be to check with the DMV in other states. I think they only charge 2 or 3 bucks for the information, I'm not sure. Hope that helps.


  • thewiz

    use an online search engine like google, altavista, ask jeeves, yahoo, etc and search for geneological sites. you will find a bounty of information and many possible links on finding relatives, living or, dare I say, dead.

    Also maybe you can find him on if in the USA.

    Resort to paid services ONLY if you have found no leads

  • bitter mango
    bitter mango

    hi tim! sorry, i have no ideas about how to find your brother. but i think you are doing a great thing. good for you for trying to "make things right again" with him.

    i know how you feel. i have a sister somewhere that i have never met. it's a weird feeling.

    good luck in your search tim!!!

  • Scully

    has public records that are available on any person in the US

    I've used it with good success on several occasions to find people who I had not been in touch with for a long time.

    They charge small fees for each search, but I didn't mind paying for valid results.

    Love, Scully

    It is not persecution for an informed person to expose a certain religion as being false. - WT 11/15/63

  • ThiChi

    COntact this site to see if they can help for a one time charge, or someone who can. Man, this has everything........

    “Cancel my subscription to the resurrection. Send my credentials to the House of Detention, I got some friends inside.....” The Doors

  • Billygoat


    I hope you find him. I've been thinking of looking for my birth mother for several years, but she is a Japanese citizen living in Japan. I know how difficult emotionally and mentally this situation can be. But it's a good thing that your brother was born in the US. You'll be much more likely to find him!

    You're in my thoughts...


  • JerryTX


    I would use a professional service to find him. However, without a Social Security number I don't know how easy it would be. The link to the Salvation Army people locator service is below. I hope you find him. I'm sure he would be glad to see you again.
    (copy the entire above link and paste it in your browser address bar. I can't get it to work as a simple link.

    "The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."

    M. Scott Peck - "The Different Drum"

  • Mum

    Try You can search by typing in his last name and first name or initial, and telephone directory listings from all over the U. S. will be listed for that name unless you specify a geographic location.

    I sure hope you find him.

    Best regards,

    Seize the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow. - Horace

    I have learned to live each day as it comes and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. - Dorothy Dix

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