Attended a funeral for a JW

by Shepherd Book 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • Shepherd Book
    Shepherd Book

    A friend of mine ended his life two weeks ago. hadn't actually talked to him in years, as we lived over an hour from each other and, since I'm an ex-JW, I assumed he wouldn't want to talk to me anyway. His mom called to tell me the sad news and to give me the time and location of the visitation, which I thought was a very kind thing to do considering she knows my 'status'.

    Anyway, on the way out of the funeral home, I came face-to-face with an elder from my former hall. I wrote about it here, but decided to put it on my blog instead: Maybe similar things have happened to you? I guess if they want to shun me at a grocery store or at the local park, that's one thing. But they can't set aside their rudeness at a funeral? Sad.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Great attitude there at the end. Just remember that you are okay and they are the ones with a problem.

    While they don't actively shun me since I became inactive, the few times I have crossed paths with the elders that used to treat me like one of them, they try to avoid me because they are a bit afraid of me. I feel blessed that the elders avoid me.

  • elder-schmelder

    I just went to a funeral for a friends husband. My friend is DF'd and her husband was never a witness. There was a mix of active witnesses and DF'd witnesses. It was very interesting to see how this will seperate friends and family at a funeral. It made me sick to see a family split apart because of this religion (Cult)


  • Shepherd Book
    Shepherd Book

    Yeah, it's crazy they can't just shake your hand or say hi at a funeral. I think funerals and weddings should be a time to set aside differences and join in support for the 'guests of honor'.

  • lovelylil2

    So sorry to hear about your friend.

    When my husband's brother died 10 years ago, my hubby and I were still active JW's. We drove down to CT for the funeral and there were many active JW's in attendence as well as my sister inlaws mother who was Df'd and a well known apostate in the area.

    My husband and I knew she (the so-called apostate) would be there and both decided to not shun her at a funeral. We did not think it was appropriate or Christlike to do that, especially in front of "worldly" family members who already found the shunning unloving. Anyway, the "apostate" sat directly behind my husband and I, and after the funeral she asked us both if she could hug us and offer her condolences. We both said yes and hugged her back in return. You can imagine the looks we got! But we didn't care.

    Later on, my sister inlaw told us that this act of kindness, on our part, had a profound affect on her mother. She was very bitter since being Df'd from the WT, branding all JWs as evil and judgemental. But she now had a different view of them and realized that she should not hate all Witnesses because many are good people.

    Anyway, her daughter (my sister inlaw) was studying at the time (she was raised a JW but never got baptized), she was close to baptism but having doubts when my husband and I left the org. After a long conversation with her about why we left, she decided to postpone her baptisim. Its been 7 years now and she is still not associating with the Witnesses. Also as of this day not even one of our JW family members remain in the org. Peace, Lilly

  • freewilly01

    I just consider that it way too much hassle to be at funerals. I look at it as my being there actually distracts from the importance of the one who has passed . Hey look there is so and so psst psst. Witness funerals are always geared toward more converts and hardly about the person anyways . Its just more respectful not to show.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    So sad how life-limiting this religion can be.

    It's good to see living examples of people who have moved on and grown into their humanity.



  • Shepherd Book
    Shepherd Book

    Thanks for the kind words everyone.

    Freewilly: I agree that my attendance perhaps served only to distract. I had initially planned to not attend. However, I was specifically called by the mother of the deceased, who requested my presence. Also, this was a visitation - at a 'worldly' funeral home. There were no talks given there. Had we been talking about a memorial service held at a Kingdom Hall, I would agree that the purpose is to win more converts.

Share this