Red Skelton's Tips For A Happy Marriage

by Bangalore 2 Replies latest social humour

  • Bangalore
    Bangalore

    1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

    2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

    3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.

    4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the
    kitchen.

    5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

    6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I
    bought her an electric chair.

    7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

    8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

    9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"

    10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

    11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

    12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

    13. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

    Bangalore

  • glenster
    glenster


    Red didn't do that kind of material about his wife. I think what you've got
    there is Henny Youngman:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7ZBpUdRHdM

  • glenster

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