AlanF et al, a little help please! Pronto Please!

by SixofNine 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • Rex B13
    Rex B13

    Jerry TX,

    >When they left, I felt sorry for them. It felt good not to be angry, and to have had the presence of mind to carefully lead the conversation right where I wanted to share the information I wanted. I hope I helped them, and it was almost therapeutic for me.

    This is a fine way to honestly help them out and God may be leading one of them into this to have his eyes opened. I know that I have lost a lot of bitterness since I gave my family's situation over to God. I no longer care to show them how wrong and misleading the Watchtower is. It doesn't work, since they have been conditioned to immediately respond with denial.
    If and when any elder asks me, "why", then I plan to present him with a few verses of scripture that explain the Christian concept of salvation. JWs are not really Christian, they do not meet the definition as they have been taught to embrace several heresies. There is no Holy Spirit in them until God starts drawing them to Him. You have no way of knowing that, so it's best to be prepared at all times (if you are a Christian, I am assuming much here for the benefit of all). If they get the "seed" of salvation then the Holy Spirit and the work of Christ will teach them and bring them along.
    My family knows right where I stand and since our blow up after the U.N./WTS scandal, things are much calmer. I don't care one bit if I get DA or DF. I will present the truth of scripture and my testimony
    for any who will hear it.
    I have not been shy about my church activities and work actively to warn others about cults. So far, they (local elders) have not approached me, my wife or our sons about out leaving over two years ago.
    What they do about me is not my number one priority.

  • simplesally

    So what has happened to all of you? 6, did you get df'd on their accord? Alan, what about you?

    I got df'd....saying I didnt want to be, but knowing I did.

  • AlanF

    I was not DF'd. I told the elders not to do it, and they listened. Of course, I told them a few other things too.


  • Pathofthorns

    You probably said way too much to your elders, although there is a certain satisfaction in doing that sometimes...LOL

    Maybe you can back track and "clarify" what you said earlier by submitting a letter to them that lists "concerns" and "doubts" you have in a less direct and definite way, and you can remind them that it is not improper to have these.

    Assure them that you wish to remain a Witness, and any action taken against you will be met with legal action as well as other avenues the Society uses to protect their interest implying using the media. As Alan mentioned, they would contact WT Legal and would be concerned that they might appear to the public that they don't allow people to 'ask questions' or have 'doubts'.

    Assure them that these concerns have always been "private concerns" and you intend to keep them that way. Always insist that any correspondence be in writing.

    It would seem these days that the Society is usually leaving these individuals alone, preferring not to rock the boat. This seems to be the best for everyone involved, but in the end they can do whatever they want and I doubt there is much anyone can do about it.


  • ashitaka

    I'm thinking about the same thing, six. My mother, wife and I are going to DA all at once. We're going to make the reasons specific, and the language unmistakable. There's really no one left 'in' who I care for, but it seems like it's the other way for you. Think of your family first, but if you truly want to get out, do it.

    But, listen to these other fellas. They know a hell of a lot more than me. Just wanted to wish you luck.


  • Billygoat


    I'm sorry to hear about all this. I missed this thread back when you originated it. I've been taking a bit of a break from the board, but still want to hear what's going on with you. Can you update us???


  • ARoarer

    I and my family have not formerly DA'd ourselves, and no elders have called or asked to meet with us. But absolutely no one is talking to us, accept for a few close friends who keep it discreet. The word is out that we are "apostates" and I really don't know if they ever annonced anything from the platform without notifying us. Especially since I know now that they are aware we celebrated Christmas this year. Does anyone know if they can announce something without notifying us?

  • SEAKEN2001

    Yeah, they can DF you and never tell you. That's what they did to my Mom. In my Dad's case he threatened a law suit and they have left him alone, and he even wrote a book! I was told if I publish anything I will get the axe. As long as I keep in the family they will leave me alone. But I think it varies from area to area and can depend on whether someone has an agenda which includes cleaning you out of the flock.


  • Pathofthorns

    A Roarer, it is unlikely they have disfellowshipped you without notifying you.

    A more likely scenario is they do not have concrete evidence that you are an "apostate", but at the same time they do believe you are one.

    When this happens, they get the message across to the locall congregation through a local needs part, as well as by advising those close to you to avoid association with those who "no longer worship Jehovah". The context, along with the mention of 'apostasy' is usually sufficient to make weak-minded members to cease association with you, without them having to mention you by name.

    This devious attempt to achieve the same result as a disfellowshipping, without having to come up with the evidence needed to officially do so, can be extremely irritating.

    I just tell these individuals, that if I were an 'apostate', wouldn't I be disfellowshipped?


  • Hmmm


    I missed this thread the first time around. Very powerful stuff. Teejay, that was some letter. If Alan has a "stronger" letter, i'm scared to see that one.

    I thought msil made some terrific points. Legal-sounding letters are great, and will probably keep you from getting the boot--officially. But even if you convince them that DFing you is more trouble than it's worth, the result will most likely be a de facto disfellowshipping--you'll still be shunned.

    If you want to avoid that, convince them that you're just weak. If you can generate some tears, good for you.

    So what's been the result? Have you met with the elders since this meeting?


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