Ex Wife(JW) Wants to pull my 8 year old out of school and homeschool

by LowTech 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • GLTirebiter

    Great list, Christopher! A few things I would add:

    • How will your daughter be supervised while your Ex is at work?
    • (related to #7) How many "school hours" will be scheduled each day? This is just as much about self-discipline as it is about performance.
    • (related to #4) How much will the program and materials cost, and how does she propose to pay for them?
    • (related to #11) If you agree to home schooling, that agreement depends upon your daughter progressing as expected for her grade and skill level.

    Do study the home school laws in Illinois. I suspect that with a week's research, you'll know more about than as she does. That way she can't baffle you with BS.

    Above all, remember that what matters is doing what's best for your daughter. Not what's convenient for your ex, not what you prefer. Put your child's future first!

    Good luck to you,


  • yknot
  • wantstoleave

    First, check your custody/separation agreement. There may be a paragraph in there where either partner cannot change things such as the child's religion, where they live or their schooling without agreement from the other party.

    Next, I think you should find out exactly why she is doing this all of a sudden. Is your child doing well at school? Or struggling? If she is happy...then it would be best to leave her at school. Also, ask her HOW she intends to go about homeschooling. I am a teacher...and children benefit greatly from attending school besides academics.

    I like the saying 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'.

    Seek some legal advice...

    Oh, and you definitely DO have a say in your daughters education. If you are uncomfortable with this, perhaps speak to her teacher and Principal (headmaster) now - before it gets out of hand. Ask them how your child is going at school. Where their strengths and weaknesses are, and how they socialise. This will be very important information when you need to talk to your ex.

  • Jim_TX
    "I think you should find out exactly why she is doing this all of a sudden."

    This is what I want to know, too.

    I think that the mother is just trying to go full-time at the restaurant - and needs to have the child in a known place - I.E. at home - so she doesn't have to worry about her, while waiting tables.

    As you have read - home-schooling can be a disaster. My daughter was home-schooled - and when she applied to go to a 2-yr college - she had to take remedial classes to catch her up to the level she should have been at to apply for college level courses.


    Jim TX

  • lovelylil2

    I home schooled my daughter for one year when I was a witness. It was because she was very sick for a few years before that and needed extra one on one help to catch up with work missed, especially in math. Also, unlike her brother, she was having real emotional problems due to being brought up in the WT Cult. She had social anxiety problems for a while before I took her out of school for that year. And it was actually her pediatrician who suggested it.

    I have a degree in business and was able to come up with a good education plan. My town wanted me to apply to the school superintendent and show her the plan I would follow (everything had to be in writing) and the plan had to meet certain criteria for her grade level. I also had to submit my educational background and experiences and explain how I thought I could carry out such an undertaking. I think my town is stricter than others. It worked out well for us because I was able to help her catch up 2 grades in math and the mental break was good for her. Thankfully by the end of that school year we decided to leave the Watchtower anyway. I am glad I did homeschool her.

    But it is a very BIG commitment. That is if you want to make sure that your child is going to be educated properly. Sadly with the witnesses, many of the JW moms just took the kids out of school to pioneer and make it easy on them as some people already pointed out. Also, thier kids were very isolated and in the house too much. All the other JW kids were in school during the day. For my daughter this was not a problem because she was and still is a loner in a lot of ways. She has lots of social opportunities now but still enjoys some alone time during the day. But if it were my son who is very sociable and needs to be in constant contact with people, homeschooling would have been like jail for him. You really need to know your child and their personality well to do this.

    So, there are many factors to take into consideration such as; what type of educational materials will be used and does it meet the proper requirements in your state and town?, what about social opportunities for your daughter? also can you ex really take on this huge undertaking? And is this the right decision for your daughter or is it just a way to make things easier on your wife?

    You may need a court appointed mediator to help you iron out all the details with your wife. You have a right to ask q's about this. Also, MOST IMPORTANTLY - have you asked your daughter if SHE wants to do this?

    Wish you the best, Lilly

  • lovelylil2

    one more thing;

    It was only the one year I homeschooled my daughter. She was in 5th grade at that time. She went right back into regular school the next year and was able to go on to 6th grade. btw; the school may test your daughter before allowing her to return to regular school and she must pass to go to next grade. My daughter was able to pass. She is now in 11th grade and looking at colleges. She is doing well! Lilly

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