Hi everyone again! :)
Thank you so much for the outpouring of support! As you can imagine, I haven't felt a community of support and love in a long time:)
I really appreciate all your concern and interest in how things have turned out. I'll try to answer some questions a few of you asked.
Things with my mom now:
After I had my son, she was about interested in her grandson as she was her own children. She would have violent temper tantrums in the presence of my son, so I decided to have very limited time around her. I would love him to have a loving grandmother, but she cant provide that, so he is surrounded with loving people.. even if they aren't related.
She lives just 6 miles from me. She calls once in a while to bemoan her problems and lonely life (since my siblings have hardly anything to do with her now) and tells me about the married man she dates who won't give her any respect. As my sister says, she is reaping what she sowed. I dont want to be vengeful, but part of me enjoys the irony playing out. In the past three years I have mourned the loss of a mother and just try to be the best mom I can be. I realize she is a sick person and I try to distance myself from her as much as possible.
My dad:
This is a sad and tragic ending. After my mom left him he basically gave up on everything. He drank heavily and survived a few car accidents that resulted from drunk driving. He fell off a ladder once (he was a carpenter) and when he was taken to the hospital, it was discovered that he had a huge brain clot in his brain. The doctors operated and he was never the same. My older sister was made his gaurdian and when they finally notified her of his being in the hospital, she said he was a shadow of the man he used to be. He was never the same. He had some memories of family but was very disoriented.
After leaving the hospital, he lived on the street.. occasionally visiting my sister to recieve his checks. My sister said he would come to her looking terrible and smelling horribly. He would have wild stories about travels and adventures he was going on. In December of 1995, when I was 5 months pregnant, my sister called. Her voice cracking, I knew someone terrible had happened.
She went on to explain to my mother and I that they found Dad's body floating in the ocean, just off the beach. I guess it was apparent that someone had beat him up (he was probably drunk and they wanted his money). To the cops he was just a street bum.. but I remembered him as a strong Irishman with a sweet demeanor and kind soul. He never knew I had a son.. he would have been a great grandfather. It was no surprise, my mother's reaction. She barely raised her eyebrows hearing the news. She gave me a light mechanical hug and said, 'sorry'. Even now when talking about him, she cackles and says,'well look where that drunk ended up now!' I just hope to see him again.
Again, thanks for all your support! I printed up your replies and when I doubt myself, I will just read them. I know it's never too late to reach my dreams!
I hope you all have a happy and wonderful New Year!
Love,
Tera
P.S.- I just wanted to share that I have just gotten my license to give foster care to abused kids. We're anxiously awaiting our first foster son soon! It's my hope that we can give love to a child in need..even only if it's temporary. The more I help others, the more I feel healed :)