I read yesterday that, in view of the swine flu pandemic, the regular flu is now called "Piglet flu"
You will still feel like crap, but nobody gives a damn.
Doctor: "How are you feeling?"
Patient: "I feel like crap."
Doctor: "Well, your H1N1 test came back and it's negative. Now get out of here, you lazy bastard. Come back when you have a real illness."
Patient: "Just because I have the Piglet Flu, I get no respect."