What Do You Say To Those Who Have Lost Someone In Death?

by minimus 16 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Casper

  "You have to realize that nothing you can say will help their loss."

  ---

  I agree with John Doe's words above, having been widowed twice at young ages, nothing on earth touches the pain. Both times I was in such shock, which most people are at that time,... that words from friends just went over my head.
  
  It would be sometime later, when I could reflect and really appreciate the kindness offered.
  
  For me, just having people acknowledge the fact that it happened and not being afraid to bring it up (as tho the person never existed), helped on some level.
  
  We all mean well when we try to express our feelings to another, but death is one of those things that only time will heal.

  I tell people in those situations that I understand, that I am very sorry they are experiencing this, and it will get better in time even tho it doesn't feel like it.
• 

  sacolton

  Really all you can say is that you'll miss the person too.
• 

  angel eyes

  Depends...If i know the person then id mention the resurrection hope.
• 

  Casper

  Also wanted to add:
  
  When my second husband died, we had recently had a WT article on helping the bereaved, which mentions sharing humorous memories about the deceased with the loved ones..
  
  As soon as I entered the Emergency Room at the hospital, I was met by a PO.
  
  He immediately starting spouting humorous (to him) antidotes of my husband... That pi$$ed me off so bad at the moment, and I let him know it on the spot.
  
  My husband had died, I hadn't even seen him yet... No way was I in the mood for stupid "Jokes".
  
  Maybe after some time has passed, the bereaved will be ready for humor, but not within the first hour.
• 

  Finally-Free

  As JWs it was easy at funerals. We didn't have to think or be genuine in our words. All we had to do was parrot the prefabricated "hope" and condolences conveniently supplied by the watchtower. Then we could move on and gossip with other "comforters" while we wait for refreshments to be served. We all know that was our real reason for being there.

  W
• 

  snowbird

  LOL at FinallyFree.

  I will still share the R hope, if circumstances allow it.

  Down here is not called The Bible Belt for naught.

  Once in line at Walmart, I told a grieving cashier about Jesus of Nazareth's words to Martha during her time of loss.

  When I finished, both the cashier and I were in tears.

  Of course, I won't intrude on anyone's grief or privacy.

  Sylvia

  2 Corinthians 4:13 -15 We're not keeping this quiet, not on your life. Just like the psalmist who wrote, "I believed it, so I said it," we say what we believe.
• 

  minimus

  When you know someone more intimately, you can just "look" at the sad person and "know" often how to respond. It's the others that we might not appear so genuine with.