Now that you're out of the organisation, how do you deal with chronic illness?
Pretty much the same way as I did when I was in the organization. I take care of myself the best that I can on a day to day basis. I have to; no one else will. If I'm in too much pain to clean the house then the house stays as it is. Who cares? At least I don't have anyone nagging me to "DO MORE!" now. No one to add guilt to my pain.
Regarding a "hope for the future", I try to be realistic. In 6,000 years of recorded history no one has been able to come up with any definitive, incontestable theology. I won't assume I can figure it out in the time I have left, and I won't bother trying. I'll take what comes.