Flower, is your mothers name Lena? You look just like her.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"
Eleanor Roosevelt
WILL I BE DISFELLOWSHIPPED?
by jazz 40 Replies latest jw friends
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WildHorses
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LovesDubs
Sounds to me like since there were already problems in the marriage the wife was LOOKING for stuff to take to the elders to be vindictive and hurtful. If you were already splitsville why should she CARE what you do online? Sounds like she just wants to HURT you. Perhaps the little filly has somebody else on the hook already and if she can get your butt DFd for adultery or fornication, she will be free to remarry. Ive seen it happen...its not remote at all.
Read CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE by Former Governing Body Member RAY FRANZ
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ballistic
I would seriously consider leaving the borg. You will feel happier, healthier and will have 5 hours of meetings and maybe 5 of service and study a week to surf as much porn as you like.
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Richie
LovesDubs...
I had the same feeling as you have that his wife may be vindictive and is seeking some kind of revenge or a reason to re-marry.DB...
On the matter of cyber-sex, I believe this is more serious than you think - it would fall under the category of lewd behavior with two "consenting" individuals. I realize that with cyber-sex there is no actual touching of the genitals involved, but the way it is performed is close to the real thing. It is the deliberate action involved where both parties talk to each other over the internet and/or by telephone while they masturbate. All the sounds, feelings and expressions are in conformity to reach a mutual climax very similar to actual intercourse without the contact of body parts.
Cyber-sex did not exist until fairly recently and I can imagine the complexity on the part of the elders in handling these cases. I know that masturbation is a private thing and is done secretly by one person and is an unclean habit (according to the Society), whereas cyber-sex has already the consent of two people who simultaneously engage in "distant" sex. I guess it may be a bit difficult to assess the seriousness, although it is not fornication or adultery in a legal sense, but perhaps the elders will probably find out how many times it's been done - did the person stop this alltogether -does he show repentance and not wanting to do it again etc..., then I personally think the elders will privately reprove him (or if this has become public knowledge, there will be reproof from the platform) and take away his responsibilities in the congregation.Woooow, am I happy not to be part of the Borg anymore!!
Richie :*)
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DB
Richie, I agree with you 100 percent. What I am asking here is, is cyber-sex considered pornea/fornication? I do realize that it would be considered lewd conduct and that indeed, what is usually happening is a verbal/typed stimulation of another person, in order to arouse a sexual response. However, for the purpose of establishing pornea, and hence, the possiblity of a scriptural grounds for divorce, I still wonder, because the fact is, there is no physical contact. Even so, I am making no attempt to downplay the matter. One thing that had come to mind is that the elders could try to catagorize this under "loose conduct" and if it presisted and the guy is keeping it up despite his wife's protests, then they may perhaps feel that dfing might be warranted. As you mentioned, such a matter is complex indeed. One thing taht bugs me here: the wife went right to the elders instead of talking with her husband first. Typical borgish response, but really, she should have talked to him first, as should all jws who witness or come to know of serious offenses. They should go to the person involved first. All too often, they run to the elders, and while the matter does get handled, it often ends up hurting more than it has to.
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LovesDubs
As to cybersex...I caught a "brother" having cybersex with three different women online here...he was very willing to get involved with anyone who suggested it to him, married or not. I have known this clown for 16 years and never was a witness to his actions and therefore couldnt turn him in...but these gals logged every conversation, in ems, IMs, chat rooms and phone calls. I had a ream of material and I sent it in to the elders. This was Jan 1999 and the elders had no clue how to handle this situation. I was already Disassociated but they knew I was not a liar. My husband who is a witness called him and let him know we had all this..gave him an opportunity to go to the elders himself. He lied and said that he had gone and that we could "drop the matter". I told my husband there was no way in hell since he was a self involved lying sack that he went to the elders...so my husband called the PO. Sure enough..he never had. So..I sent this ream of stuff to the PO with an explanation and time line. I told him I was tired of slime like that getting up in front of the hall and giving talks about being representatives of God and then screwing other peoples wives both online and off. He was called on the carpet...they did something smart tho, they told him to tell them everything he had done, and he gave them MORE than what I had caught him doing! All they did was MARK him tho...and give a private reproof and a congregation needs talk. His wife didnt believe the allegations. He said I had framed him and none of it was his fault! His reply to the punishment? "Damn now nobody is going to come to my Superbowl party."
It would be interesting to see what the elders have decided to do with these cases since then.
Read CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE by Former Governing Body Member RAY FRANZ
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oscartheduck
With regards to th cyber-sex thing, according to w72 1/1 31-2 Questions from Readers "While both homosexuality and bestiality are disgusting perversions, in the case of neither one is the marriage tie broken. It is broken only by acts that make an individual "one flesh" with a person of the opposite sex other than his or her legal marriage mate. "
So just claim you only cybered with guys and dogs ;)
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The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126 "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible " -
TR
Sorry Jazz, but either you're a dipshit or you've got a really poor relationship with your wife. Which is it?
TR
I'm gonna make mince meat outta that Osama!
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jazz
no im not a dipshit tr are you? anyway i wanst nervous until a 1/2 before i met them .it was only two brothers so i knew i wouldnt be disfellowshipped.one was a brother i studied with,the other was a guy i dont like much because he is a cold fish.anyway we went over an article on the heart conditon they asked 2 or 3 questions told me to get myself together and that was it so i kind of got private reproof now im off to look up articles on divorce have a nice day everyone.
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Richie
Oscar...
I was just reading your post and saw that you responded in saying that committing homosexuality and bestiality would have no basis for dissolving a marriage, which was from a 1972 Watchtower article. While that was true at the time, I know that the WT later on revised their stand (I believe later that same year) by making it possible to break the marriage tie for these sexual offenses...Richie :*)