After a week, this is where I'm at.....

by wantstoleave 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • wantstoleave
    wantstoleave

    I have been active on this board a week now and I think for the most part, my head is alot clearer now. Previously when I'd considered leaving the organisation, I had no other knowledge to back up my feelings. I simply just wanted to leave and thought that come armageddon, I would die. The difference now is that I am not so sure I believe in armageddon, after being here and everyone giving a helping hand :)

    I go to bed at night, pondering on what I've read and learnt on this site and I find myself saying 'but maybe the organisation is a cult'.

    Today for example, I told my parents how 'a friend' of mine was telling me about Judicial matters, what happens with the notes, letters etc (from my topic on here) and my mom was particularly disgusted. My dad said 'interesting, didn't know that'. This was in regard to notes being kept and unsealed envelopes etc. In fact, my dad said 'why can't elders take notes during a JC?' a my mom snapped back 'because there are legal implications and they don't want to be sued'. And 'that's a persons life they're dealing with, they shouldn't be taking notes!!!'.

    Next accomplishment today: I looked at xmas trees :) I have never in my life stopped to look at decorations, or trees. But I took my child to the store today and stood in the xmas aisle, wishing I was free and never born into this religion. Oh and last night, I brought up the topic of my inactive brother (who lives with his girlfriend) and how 'I wonder how he'll go this year with her doing xmas'. They have only recently started living together you see. Mom says 'I don't know' and then goes on to tell me how when she was a kid, her mom used to be so traditional at xmas, house covered in decorations, cards hanging everywhere etc. She then added 'if I wasn't a witness, I'd do it the same as she did, fully traditional and all out'. I told her I'd do the same.

    If I was to be Df or Da myself, I think it would break my dads heart. But I think my mom would still talk to me. She may not hang out with me much, at least not initially, but I know she'd miss me. I am her best friend. I think I need to feel the situation out a little more before making a rash decision. I'm wondering if my impending divorce will see elders on my doorstep, in which case, if they get negative with me, I will tell them where to stick it and that I've had enough. I've been stumbled tons of times over the years, by the injustices and my marriage situation is injustice at its best. I have 'held on' as long as I could tolerate, but know I need to come to a firm decision soon.

    Thanks for listening and helping me through this :)

  • Mattieu
    Mattieu

    Hi wtl, those of us who were born into the org share so many of the same issues later in life, at least we have a great outlet to share and listen to each other....

    Mattieu

  • bluecanary
    bluecanary

    I didn't realize you were getting divorced. My heart goes out to you.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    I'm uncertain which 'Greatest Hits' of apostate literature that you've read.

    May I recommend a book?

    Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0892813113/ref=dp_olp_used?ie=UTF8&condition=used

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers
    I'm wondering if my impending divorce will see elders on my doorstep, in which case, if they get negative with me, I will tell them where to stick it and that I've had enough. I've been stumbled tons of times over the years, by the injustices and my marriage situation is injustice at its best. I have 'held on' as long as I could tolerate, but know I need to come to a firm decision soon.

    When I was in a similar situation, I didn't know that fading was an option. Unless you have your heart set on being completely free of this cult, please try a fade. You can't be df'd for divorce but you can be for talking back to the elders...at least that's what they told me. When they come around to try to bully you back to the meetings, plead depression. Tell them you're stumbled, because according to the book of Timothy your ex is worse than a man without faith, because he isn't supporting his family. After all, your kids could starve to death if you "wait on Jehovah".

  • Chalam
    Chalam

    Hi WTL,

    Mom says 'I don't know' and then goes on to tell me how when she was a kid, her mom used to be so traditional at xmas, house covered in decorations, cards hanging everywhere etc. She then added 'if I wasn't a witness, I'd do it the same as she did, fully traditional and all out'. I told her I'd do the same.

    I think the WT shackles are coming off you. There is clearly hope for you mother too.

    Christmas is great BTW. We celebrate it every day here :)

    Matthew 1:21 (New International Version)

    21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

    Happy Christmas!

    Blessings,

    Stephen

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    This post made me smile. I'm very happy for you. It gets easier and more wonderful, still.

    You'll see.

    Love to you,
    Baba.

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    It is very tough when you are at the stage you have come to. It is great you have gotten over your fear of Armageddon. But it is very sad to be on the threshold of loosing your relationship with your parents. Once you realise it is a cult there is nothing to do but leave as you know it is best for yourself and your child.

    One thing I did before leaving is discuss with my parents how evil shunning family is. At http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/disfellowship-shunning.php there is information on why Watchtower disfellowshipping is not Biblical. You should ask them how they feel about shunning, etc. Then raise some points to show that the Watchtower takes it too far, and how cults commonly shun, such as Mormons and Scientologists. That way they may be able to convince themselves now before anything happens that they should keep in touch.

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    JWfacts said:

    One thing I did before leaving is discuss with my parents how evil shunning family is. At http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/disfellowship-shunning.php there is information on why Watchtower disfellowshipping is not Biblical. You should ask them how they feel about shunning, etc. Then raise some points to show that the Watchtower takes it too far, and how cults commonly shun, such as Mormons and Scientologists.

    Now THAT is brilliant! If there is ANYTHING one should bring to loved one's attention before one leaves, THAT would be the winner!

  • Out at Last!
    Out at Last!

    As you continue reading information on this site, you will continue to see more and more what a wicked cult you were in. Continue reading. I too was in a bad marrage that I let continue for 21 years, and threw away 28 years believing falsehoods. Now almost two years onto divorce and fade, I could not be happier.I can second what Bubba said, it gets easier and more wonderful the further you get away from that horrible religion.

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