true christians shouldn't swim...

by highdose 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • highdose

    i've using the JW way of thinking EG its not in the bible/ Jesus never did it/ bad things are recorded as happening in the same account. I've come to the conclusion then that the bible says it is wrong to swim. Think about it...

    Jesus is never mentioned as doing a couple of quick lengths! in fact there is a noted story about him walking on water ( note on the water not in it)

    any story in the bible involving people being in the sea normaly involves peril or death. Pharohs army, Paul being ship wreaked, Jonah.

    When the Israelits needed to cross the red sea, god split the red sea, note he did not tell them to swim it!

    Therefore using this JW reasoning we must conclude that Christains should not swim. Those that do swim are displeasing Jehovah and will be marked/ " volenterly Dissasociated"

    of course this is a spoof, but what else can you think of to apply the warped JW reasoning to?

    ...What about horses?? In the new testement Jesus on earth never rode a horse, however he did ride a donkey, even Mary his mother! the only mention of Jesus riding a actual horse is in heven, when he rides a spirtual horse. Therefore we must conclude that riding horses is bad, after all don't we want to follow in the footsteps/ hoof marks of Jesus? Horses themselves are only meant for heaven.

  • PSacramento

    Well, if I could walk on water, I wouldn't swim either !!

  • Georgiegirl

    Wow. I think my brain just stopped. That is really funny - and I can just see the confusion on someone's face if you used the swimming example. HA!

  • Heaven

    Horses themselves are only meant for heaven.

    Yeah! Now give me all your horses... give 'em to me! Me loves horses!

    I think this just illustrates how ridiculous it is to look to the Bible for every little thing. I've always found it to be very incomplete. I never understood how 'the word of God' could leave us with so many unanswered questions... well, of course, unless it didn't come from God. Hmmm... could be onto somethin' there...

  • Elsewhere

    Apparently Baptism is the only acceptable uses of a body of water.

  • bluecanary
    In the new testement Jesus on earth never rode a horse, however he did ride a donkey, even Mary his mother!

    Dude, it was Mary Magdeline that he rode.

  • cantleave

    I read a great spoof once about not owning cats. Does anyone know where I can get it?

  • bluecanary
  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I showed the cat one to my born again believing geriatric neighbors and they pitched a fit about it. I thought it was funny and that other non-JW's would think so, too. I was newly out and didn't realize that it takes an understanding of JW speak to understand the joke. They were so offended.

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