Whats the General attitude of faders that you know?

by creativhoney 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • creativhoney
    creativhoney

    my friends range from

    its all a pile of crap

    I dont believe it but i pretend i do so my family dont ignore me

    I deserve to be shunned I respect their right to shun me

    I believe it 100% but I cant live it - your an apostate because you dont believe it, dont mind me I have some fornicating to do..

    Im not a judgemental person but I dont like dishonesty to oneself. has anyone else been enraged by the latter attitude of people? i would be interested in more experiences on this topic as I have a couple to share, but I dont want to post an overly long topic as people may be disinclined to read it all. x

  • creativhoney
    creativhoney

    I think the title of my post could be misconstrued and is not meant to be rude to anyone... most people are true to themselves.. this is about experiences with those who kid themselves..

  • wobble
    wobble

    I don't know many faders personally,one that I do, helped me when I started to fade, with advice and encouragement, his position is that he does not believe JW's/WBT$ is God's Organization,and he told one Elder this to his face, he has not been [email protected] or anything.

    The other one is my B.I.L (wifes bro) who will not read on here or similar sites, and thus has a lot of residual to get rid of, he said to me the other day,

    "Well, if I am wrong and I have to eat humble pie and go back to the JW's I will " WTF ???

    I am about to send him a long E-mail showing him he is not wrong to leave.

    Love

    Wobble

  • creativhoney
    creativhoney

    I have a friend who hasn't been for almost three years now, she mixes with me all the time I am Dfd but if you say anything remotely anti witness she looks horrified. she almost fell out with me for joining a facebook forum, she has a live in boyfriend, will go to birthday parties but doesnt do xmas, though the BF does and she wont let her kids open his presents till xmas day. she sent her daughter an 'unbirthday' present on her 18th I felt really sorry for the daughter, acknowledge her or dont. her FB said on her BD that she was miserable and it was a rubbish BD and I felt really sad for her. - she says she knows its right 100% but she just cant live it at the moment but its all true.

  • creativhoney
    creativhoney

    I have a friend who hasn't been for almost three years now, she mixes with me all the time I am Dfd but if you say anything remotely anti witness she looks horrified. she almost fell out with me for joining a facebook forum, she has a live in boyfriend, will go to birthday parties but doesnt do xmas, though the BF does and she wont let her kids open his presents till xmas day. she sent her daughter an 'unbirthday' present on her 18th I felt really sorry for the daughter, acknowledge her or dont. her FB said on her BD that she was miserable and it was a rubbish BD and I felt really sad for her. - she says she knows its right 100% but she just cant live it at the moment but its all true.

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    Your "friend" is still a cult member, even though she is "not doing so well" in da truuf. As time goes on, you will probably find that these people are pretty repugnant. She will drop you like a hot potatoe the second she goes through a righteous stage.

    Years ago I decided to drop people who weren't 100 percent anti-witness. Really, I have no problem with people who were DF'd but I had a few that went super-righteous again when the old mind-control came back in.

    It's a difficult thing to do, and you will find in time that what I said is probably true.

  • creativhoney
    creativhoney

    can I fade from these people? lol

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    I fall into the category

    "I dont believe it but i pretend i do so my family dont ignore me"

    Everyone's circumstances are different. They have to deal with their fade in accordance with the situation they face. Most faders do not have anything to fall back on when they start to fade and need to bridge the gap between being a JW and a free person by playing a game of deception. The thought of losing everyting in quick succesion is too much for the everage person to cope with.

    When I joined this forum I thought I was in a unique situation, I have since found that what I am goping through is not new, many people here have had to go through it. We have had ti lie and decieve, it doesn't sit well but is necessary to save our sanity.

  • creativhoney
    creativhoney

    cantleave I was like that for years. forgot my own needs. and was profoundly miserable. - I just found the old adage helpful. above all, to thine own self be true. - I had to stand up to my family in the end because they lived my life for me. if yours is tolerable then I suppose thats ok, mine wasnt, I wasnt even bringing up my own children. their childhoods were destined to be worse than mine. x

  • creativhoney
    creativhoney

    oh and update on the friend. she still puts her fingers in her ears and goes lalalalala but now her bf has moved in she is doing all the xmas and halloween things, though she advocates she still doesnt believe it. Jeez.

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