Just to let you all know how my extremely gradual fade is going. You have to remember that I have spent all my life right in the centre of the congregation, I never missed meetings, except when necessary. My service average has been between 10 -15 hrs per month and I would spend vacations auxillary pioneering. All my family (except father) and most of my wife's family are strong in the troof.
My wife is aware of my feelings and is actually being quite supportive, even though she hasn't said it outright I think she is as sceptical as me. We are very dependant on JW's as I have built my business on the premise that I employ witnesses and most of my clients are JW's too. If I get DF'd or DA I will lose to much - yes they have me by my short and curlies!
With all that in mind I have only attended 3 of the last 9 meetings and haven't actually knocked any doors at all in the last month. More importantly I have cancelled my standing order to the WTS, I still have a small one for the KH - but the way I see it I do use the facilities and have no issue with my friends in the local congo.
I have spoken to the Elders in my congo, I have told them I am having personal issues and this is resulting in me being away. I will be stepping down before the next CO visit, but they don't know that. The timing will be good because it will be a new guy who doesn't know me. I have a very good relationship with the current one, I open up to him too easily, if I step down on his watch I am sure there will be an interrogation, which will result in me saying too much.
It doesn't sound a great deal but I started just about 1 month ago.