Confession from my JW wife

by freeman 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • freeman

    She has been buying my unemployed son his cigarettes. How nice to know where my money goes.

    So do I ???

    1) Turn her ass in to the elders, while blowing smoke in their face from a nice Cuban cigar

    2) Cut off all funds to her

    3) Don’t cut off all funds

    4) Get really pissed off and let her know it, oops did that already

    5) Bend over and take one for the team (again) to preserve our marriage

    6) Be grateful that she sometimes goes against the programming of the Borg collective

    7) All of the above

    8) None of the above, write your own here: ______________________________


  • daniel-p


  • I quit!
    I quit!

    Go with number 6. It is the most reasonable option.

  • out4good3

    #6 in secrecy , but let her know how disappointed you are that she would waste money that way.

  • saywhat29

    No. 5! If that preserves your marriage then I say go for it! *tosses the vaseline your way*

    But on the real note, I say go for 6. Because its less drama, and in the end its not like she's buying them to smoke herself and thats probably how she's reasons as well so you would only come across as someone who was trying to harm/accuse her. If you come to her with a "How do you feel doing x while the witnesses believe y?" instead of a "You know x is against the witness belief system! Well well well look at you!" then you may be able to go somewhere with this.

    I don't know your story and maybe you have rightful anger against your wife but I say leave this one alone because its not really that big of a deal...well besides the cancer your son may be huffing and puffing on in his spare time. But I digress...


    5 and 6


  • daniel-p

    It's nice that she's a bit of an "outlaw" abotu the cigs, but 1) spending your money on them secretly, and 2) buying them for your son nonetheless, is really despicable.

  • insearchoftruth

    Agree with 5 and 6.......but behind the back is not all that much in agreement with the principle of headship, is it?

  • happpyexjw

    Oh come on Daniel - despicable seems a little strong to me. At least she is willing to go against the JW rules and that could be a good sign.

    If I chastised her at all, it would be from the standpoint of aiding and abetting his addiction to something harmful for him and not throw in the business about going against JW rules - she already knows that.

    I would talk to her calmly and quietly about being disappointed that she was doing this behind your back. You didn't mention your son's age - that would be a factor to me in the whole thing.

  • freeman

    My son is 20. She said she bought him one carton because he was flat broke and desperate for smokes. She said she will never do it again. She also said she will tell him that this is the end of the line. I have no reason to not believe her, she is very honest in most other respects, and I can see that she feels very bad. I think in her own way she thought she was helping him. Now he will have to provide his own cancer sticks, or quit; it’s that simple.

    I’m naturally disappointed in her, but I’m also a bit gitty on the inside because she broke several major JW commandments! She tells me she went to our local Indian reservation so she could buy the illicit booty, tax free!

    30 years of marriage (this November) and she still manages to surprise me now and then.

    Thank You all for your comments. I think I’m leaning toward 5 / 6 quite a bit, however I’m thinking she will need to show repentance, she was a very very naught girl. I’ll think of something


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