survivors, on anger, growth and change

by Lucky Calamity 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  Lucky Calamity

  If you have any thoughts on that topic, or quotes, coping strategies, etc., please share.

  I liked this, reading in AARP rag, this a.m., the stories of people who lost a lot and were fortunate and resourceful enough to begin the process of moving on, and taking control of their lives in the wake of enormous betrayal and financial disaster, (partly due to their own gullibility, and largely due to someone else's enormous capacity to take advantage of it. Sound familiar?)

  In posting this, I am not suggesting that everyone can or will be able to recover as these folks have, but merely to suggest that their insights are encouraging and that having positive support, in the face of crises of any sort is extremely important to recovery - from anything.

  Anyway, here are some quotes:

  From Neil Friedman in "Survivors' Stories: Back From The Brink," aarp magazine, sept/oct 2009:

  "If I'm going to live with anger, then all I've got, will be lost. We're going to get through this somehow." (Madoff victim who lost a 3 million-dollar fortune and now lives with his wife on $24,000/yr).

  From Cora Lee Jckowski:

  "Even more than the money, the evilness of what our adviser did was the hardest thing to deal with. I consdered him a friend."

  And from Lois Black:

  "Believing is seeing, not the other way around. If I hadn't lost my retirment money, I would have been too afraid to start my own business."
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  BabaYaga

  So true, if left to grow, anger will eat all of you away until there is nothing left but the anger.

  However... I do firmly believe it is a healthy step in the healing process. As long as it is just a stepping stone and not the entire paved path! (Elizabeth Kubler Ross stages of grief.)

  A beloved friend of mine once told me, "Hatred is like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die."

  I have since realized that this was paraphrased from a quote “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Malachy McCourt

  I just want to add that from the quotes you posted, this one from Lois Black is awesome! I am going to remember this:

  "Believing is seeing, not the other way around."
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  Robdar

  I think betrayal and the resulting anger can be a huge impetus for growth and change. It has worked for me.
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  Lucky Calamity

  Agreed.
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  jaguarbass

  Time is the great healer.

  Short of that a bottle in front of me

  or a frontal labotomy.

  Try Meditation.
• 

  Heaven

  I think people need to allow themselves to feel angry but in a way that allows them to channel it into something that will bring about positive growth and change. When we create a plan and put it into action, we are at our best and we feel it.

  I always think of John Walsh from "America's Most Wanted". He lost his son and decided to do something positive about it. He has helped so many others because of his grief.