Unexpected elder visit

by Mulan 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mulan

  Last week I asked for advice for a relative who had left her husband.

  Well, yesterday the elders called on her, in her new place, in another congregation's territory, so her husband must have given them her address.

  She thought it was the mailman, so opened the door, surprised to see the elders. She told them this was not a good time, and one said "Can we come back later?" And she said "no". So he says, "are your refusing to meet with the elders, then?" She told him "I don't have any reason to meet with you, goodbye." And closed the door. I was so proud of her. If she had opened the door more, he would have seen her Christmas tree the gifts, and all her cards, that the family has sent her.

  I emailed all of your responses from last week, and she was thrilled with the support. I know she has lurked her sometimes, so was happy to hear from everyone. She doesn't have a computer now, but will one day, I know.

  Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
  
• 

  Mulan

  .......I talked to her this morning, and she said that after she got home from Princess' Christmas Party last night, she was sitting in her living room, with a cup of tea, and heard her husband's van, a familiar sound. She looked out the door, and saw him driving up her street. He had evidently come to see if she was home. Stalking her? Hmmmm. She said she wouldn't have answered the door if he had come to it, but he didn't.

  Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
  
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  Nathan Natas

  I admire the courage and self-assertion she's demonstrated.

  I have a feeling she's going to be OK.
• 

  Billygoat

  Mulan,

  Please give your friend my regards. Those first steps of standing up for yourself can be downright horrifying, leaving you shaking in your own boots. But let her know that she is just gaining strength in muscles she's never used. With just a little practice, she'll be an *gasp* independent woman! I know my opinion won't amount to a hill of beans, but I'm proud of her!

  Andi
• 

  COMF

  Please show her this.

  I am very proud of you! Not because it was defiant toward the elders, but because it was an action in defense of yourself. Hooray! You deemed yourself worthy of defending! And not only that, but in your mind you put yourself in the right, and them in the wrong. Yaaaaayyyy! You've got the point! That's the way you should view it, all right.

  And check this big one out: you didn't feel a need to convince them that you were right. You just calmly knew it for yourself, regardless of what they believe, and that was enough. That's the clincher. You're off to a fine start!

  Merry Christmas!

  Love, Fred
• 

  patio34

  Wow Comf,

  What a good post--I'm saving it for inspiration! Thanks. How'd you get so insightful?

  BTW, when I got to the end, I thought 'who's Fred?' I'm so used to seeing and thinking of you as COMF.

  Mulan, I'm glad it's working out. If you just keep doing what seems best, it usually does. But it's hard.

  Merry Xmas,
  Pat
• 

  AMAZINGEX

  For what it's worth, I agree completely with COMF. Be proud of yourself!

  Wishing everyone the Merriest Christmas ever and a Glorious New Year.
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  ElijahTheThird

  That was even better than what i said to say and then close the door. Warmest regards to her.
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  Skeptic

  Mulan, I am proud of her. She is caring for herself and not allowing herself to be pushed around. And as COMF said, for all the right reasons.

  Richard
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  ashitaka

  Tell your friend that she is doing the right thing, and that I wish her all happiness in continuing with her new journey.

  ashi