DIM's sister gets busted! (page 3)

neyank

This thread turned into a debate about whether or not kids should have privacy.
I believe that as they get older they must be given a certain amount of privacy to help them grow.
However, the amount of privacy can be debated on.
Parents just have to be alert to their childs behavior and cicumstances
and keep themselves involved in their childs life to keep on top of things.

My main issue with DIMs post is the fact the parents went to the elders with the problem instead of handling it themselves.
I think an act like that is far worse than looking into your childs diary.

neyank

ashitaka

"BUT the important thing is how you handle the information. It means there is some new topics for open discusion and a lot of listening needed on both sides. berating them won't solve anything.
There is no doubt that good kids can get in over their heads and have trouble asking for help.

concerned mama"

concerned mama is a wise momma....right. Snooping to get info may be ok, but make sure you TELL them, because I used to know when ANYTHING was moved in my room. I have a meticulous memory, and I'm sure a lot of other kids do too. Be careful, and it can be beneficial. But snooping for any "concern" can quickly become privacy abuse.

ashi

ashitaka

"My main issue with DIMs post is the fact the parents went to the elders with the problem instead of handling it themselves.
I think an act like that is far worse than looking into your childs diary."

How true.

ashi

joelbear

Yeru,

No. I don't have kids, but I've been a kid.

Scream all you want. I vote for communication over raiding kid's rooms.

Raid his room once and he'll just find somewhere else to hide stuff from you. Open up his mind and heart to you and yours to him or her and he's not likely to be hiding anything from you in the first place.

Joel

forgetmenot

DIM, my sympathies. While my immediate family is no long part of the Jehovah's Witness Organization, all of my other realitives are (except one Uncle and Aunt and their children). I did however just spend sometime with my grandparents and boy talk about gettting angry! It's hard to play along and act like everything is cool. To be forced to go to meetings (Thank God, I only had to sit trough one!) is more than I could bear. My sister, who we met up with later in the week, almost went off on my grandpa (a prominent elder who cannot for some reason find a way to decently talk to his relatives). It made me so mad when people I had met five times before acted as if they never saw me in their life. And then to listen to the speaker go off on how we need to be clean and pure in the eyes of Jehovah (hmm..would that be Jehovah as in the Society Jehovah or are we talking Jevovah as in God Jevoah?). I could barely stand how he dissed millions of people because thier house wasn't clean. I used to wonder why my mom would go into hysterics when her house wasn't clean; now it's plain as day.

When I went to visit them I had a wonderful idea of who I was and my beliefs, and I could express them openly. But when I came home, I was totally depressed! I'm so glad I don't have to live under those horrible circumstances every day. And I wish that you didn't either.

Andee

Being a Mama, I'm with Yerusalyim and Mulan on this.

Communication is all good and well, however, even good, well-adjusted, teenagers usually don't confide everything to their parents. Especially, if they would disapprove.

However, I don't believe in raiding a kids room and reading a diary for no good reason. I also don't believe that a kid has a "right" to privacy. Especially, when I'm footin the bill and ultimately responsible for their behavior. If I suspect there is a problem, and I'm not getting anywhere with my child, I'ma snoopin. That maybe the only way I can get info to help them. Which would be MY goal by the way.

As far as the JC. I'm getting a sick feeling in my stomach. My heart goes out to your sister. How convenient for your parents to be able to pass off their parenting responsibilities to the elders.

Andee

JT

While the issue of child privacy and to what degree can be argued till everyone turns blue in the face the real issue in my view is this point here:

"Apparently (according to my mom) the one elder was screaming at my sister "if you were baptized we'd disfellowship you!"

now this is where the problem lies - this "System" that the boys in the service dept has setup called a Judical committee

it's like having Mo, Larry and Curly--

the poster raised the question/issue as to why did mom turn his sister into the elders, well we end up right back at this "System"
that wt has setup .

whne you consider that the Spokesman for the wt JR Brown refered to the elders and "Untrained volunteers" then it helps put matters into prospective as to why we se this type of behavoior going on.

as Ray pointe out in his book the Entire Super-Structure upon which the wt sits is built on sand and sad to say as has been pointed out by so many the emotional damage that is done to it's members is literaly frightening

how sad

sorry to hear that your sister has been using drugs, but i feel worst that she had to have it handled by Mo, Larry and /Curly

just my 2

james

wheelwithinwheel

I wasn't there for my sister. The whole family sliced her out of our lives. I deeply regret it.

BE THERE FOR HER DIM

FriendlyFellaAL

She broke a bond with your sis that will be remembered by your sis forever.How would your mom feel if your sis would have peeked at her private things? She would be in trouble.

Excellent point, but I can already hear the twisted logic at work in this situation..."I've got absolutely nothing to hide, so I have no reason to worry about you going through my private things."

That's the best part about being a JW...you never have to use the brain that God gave you! :D

Brian

DIM's sister gets busted!

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