Should I tell them the truth?

by KDubbz 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • KDubbz

    Ok alright here it is. I was never bapitized or anything. I've got plenty of "worldy" friends and I am very happy with my life right now. But the problem is that I got few really good friends who are still JWs. They are pretty cool. They aren't your typical JWs. They are usually open-minded and we would talk about many things as long as they aren't Bible-related. Recently, they were discussing about the Bible and I was there. I just kept my mouth shut and they asked me what I think about certain topics in the Bible. They still believe that I think the JW has the truth but nothing could be further from the truth. I just want to tell them that I no longer believe in JW's teachings. If I do, I probably will lose them. I know I still got plenty of "worldy" friends but I do love my JW friends too. I just feel sad that if they stop associating with me because I dont believe in JWs teachings but I still want to associate with them even though I don't believe in their teachings. I just wish they are more open-minded than that. What should I do? I can't lie to my friends. Should I tell them the truth about how I feel?

  • Chalam

    Hi KD,

    Is keeping your friends more important to you than keeping your integrity?

    All the best,


  • PrimateDave

    Can you give any specific teachings that they question you about? You might find ways to turn the question back at them in a way that makes them think.


  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    PrimateDave has a good suggestion. Have all your facts lined up about why you don't believe, arm yourslef with information to prove it and get your point across to them in a respectiful non confrontational way. The second they think you are apostate they will shut you down and out. You have to do it in a way that doesn't seem obvious.

    OTOH, you may just have a few friends that believe the same way you do. I remember sitting in a freezing cold car in the dead of winter with my g/f at the time, waiting for a couple to finish their call/study. She told me she really hated FS. That took guts for her to admit, and I wish I could have had the strenght to tell her that I felt the same way. She left, I left, she moved, I moved, but we have recently found each other on Facebook and through her sister that also left.

    You never know what might happen when you start to open up, but if these so called friends abandon you because of your personal beliefs and convictions, can you really call them your friends?

  • rebel8

    I don't see any reason to handle this situation any differently than any other social interaction.

    I cannot talk about my beliefs (atheism) with most relatives, friends, and acquaintences. We don't agree and it will just create tension.

    IMHO, don't lie or mislead your jw friends into thinking you're a practicing dub. And make an agreement not to talk about religion and politics, just like most civil polite people do. If they will not abide by that or they end your friendship just for asking, then that's their choice.

  • WuzLovesDubs

    You will be immediately suspect if you let any non JW dogma slip past your tongue my friend. You know how we were all programmed to spot it. So just sit and nod and dont comment at all.

    You dont have to be right at the expense of losing your friends. Not yet anyway. there might come a time when you can no longer stand the cognitive dissonance and it will come pouring out of you.

  • Quandry

    I don't know if they'd be open to questions in a nice way, such as, "Well, I haven't been able to understand how the WTS knows which blood factions are allowed and which ones aren't, what do you think? Or, "I've never understood all the need to change the meaning of generation over the years. Can you explain it?"

    If you don't think they'd be open to questions, then don't go down that route. Perhaps you can just tell them you've never felt the need to attach yourself to a religion. Just let it go at that. Let them know you don't want to discuss things further. Don't let them draw you in.

    In some instances, once you let them know your true feelings, you are sunk.

    You'd know best which category they fit into.

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