MEN - when did you finally understand/ forgive your Dad?

by hamsterbait 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  hamsterbait

  Most men will agree that in the teens they all fall out with and disagree with their father.

  When did you start to understand where he was coming from?

  I remember a poem, where the writer describes how he always thought his dad was mean and intransigent. He is lighting the boiler in the morning, and starts remembering how all through his childhood, the house was heated when he got up, and like his own father he cleans everybodys shoes before they get up on Sunday.

  I think it is only when you go through a similar crisis to the Father, or finally have rebelling sons that true understanding kicks in.

  I was VILE to my father whilst he was dying of cancer. unfortunately filled with the arrogant self confidence of youth. I regret it now of course.

  HB
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  BurnTheShips

  I was about 27-28. I was very angry.

  I dont believe in
  In your sanctity
  Your privacy
  I dont believe in
  Sanctity
  A hypocrisy

  Hey dad what do you think about your son now?
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Y-rfBGtAck

  I think it is only when you go through a similar crisis to the Father, or finally have rebelling sons that true understanding kicks in.

  When I resolved my crisis with my father, I was able to come close to the Father. I rejected Him for a time.

  I feel like a newborn, kicking and screaming.

  Born again, BTS
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  restrangled

  This is a fantastic thread.....My own father never knew his. His mother claimed he died in the war. During the early 70's we made a trip to where my father was born in a Ford GranTorino. (stuffed into the back seat of that car) We found out, my Father's father had died just 2 years earlier, due to a suicide in jail. He hung himself.

  Talk about shock for my own father...after he thought his father was dead for years. He also learned of half brothers that for all the world looked liked twins next to my dad in the same area.

  My Grandfather was a veteran, and came home to some very nice land with a river running through it. A neighbor with 5 kids, needed water badly. That neighbor was pulling water, and my grandfather shot him to death...and wound up in jail.....thats when he hung himself.

  Whats really scarey...I have that man's eyes and his sister's feminine build.

  r.
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  oompa

  never had a falling out.......great man.......rock solid in the truth........i always knew where i stood with him......i love my dad......oompa
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  restrangled

  Hamsterbait....You asked about men and their fathers, and I'm sorry I replied but thought it was important.

  I had a crazy story as a girl and a daughter.

  take care.

  r.
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  dinah

  The only Father-Son relationship I saw was my Dad and my Grandfather. IMHO everyone should have a Dad like my Grandpa. He was a Southern Baptist, probably the closest thing I'll see to Jesus in my life (in spite of the religion he wasn't very devout).

  My Dad and Grandpa seemed to have called a truce (in other words Grandpa figured out Dad was grown) when he was about 14. Dad ditched Sunday School to go fishing and Grandpa had a fit and beat his ass. Dad decided right THEN, no more church for him. He hasn't stepped foot in church since then.

  I guess this will turn out to be a Father/Daugther thang on my part. My Dad has always been in my corner. I think I've seen him walk on water 2 or 3 times. He's saved me from drowning several times.

  Fathers are SO important.

  My grandpa has three grand daughters. My son was born 3 years after he died. First boy since my Dad was born. But my two first cousins and me are as close as sisters. Close family. Grandpa preached family to us. It has kept us together.

  Losing him was hardest on Dad.
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  John Doe

  I always understood my dad.
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  dinah

  I've pretty well always understood my Dad too, Doe. (or better yet we always understood each other)
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  truthseekeriam

  My dad wasn't around much, but my step father came around in my late teen age years, I finally got to see what having a dad was all about:) I was so happy to have him walk me down the aisle when I was married almost 20 years ago. Even though he's a JW I still called him today to tell him Happy Fathers Day.(he loves it)
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  doofdaddy

  My dad was physically around when I was a child but he was absent in all other respects, except to abuse us kids.

  He was an enigma right up to his recent death at 94 yrs. Only the good die young eh?

  I learned my parenting skills from watching OTHER families and have done a great job. My children love me in such a healthy way.

  I forgave my father many yrs ago but could never forget. That's why I cut him from my children's lives. He was too toxic/dangerous.