My brief respite

by silent 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • Robdar

    First of all, a valium overdose does not guarantee death. Vomiting is likely to occur and so you wouldn't die. It could put you in a coma though. That wouldn't be much fun.

    There are other, more simple ways to kill yourself and you do not need a prescription to do it. But do you really want to kill yourself?

    I understand your fear and trepidation of the place you find yourself in. I also understand that in order to get relief, you must be more creative than just deciding to kill yourself. Do you really want to end your life? Or do you want to end the problems going on in your life?

    Here is the simple truth, as truth is often simple: The only way out of your situation is to leave.

    There is nothing stopping you. Don't argue, please. Think about it. THERE IS NOTHING TO STOP YOU FROM LEAVING.

    So what if you are shunned? So what if you are disfellowshipped? So what if you are disowned? Better that than to kill yourself or waste your life being miserable.

    Think about each of your fears and tell yourself what is the worst that can happen? If you look deep within yourself, you will see that you can survive whatever may come your way.

    Think about it, build up your confidence, and then take that first step to freedom. Then take another one, then another one.

    No man made organization can give you salvation. And maybe, just maybe, God isn't this invisible, terrifying thing that will dash your brains out at Armageddon. Maybe God gave you your life to live and enjoy. Maybe you can worship him better on your own--without others telling you how to think, feel, live.

    I took that leap of faith and just left. Yes, there were repercussions. Yes, I had difficulty. But I promise you that the joy, happiness and freedom are very spiritually uplifting.

    Yes, it is difficult and frightening. It will probably be one of the scariest situations you will ever find yourself in. But you must do it.

    Better to leave than die by your own hand.

  • aSphereisnotaCircle

    If you want to keep getting what your getting.

    Keep doing what your doing.

    Your body is telling you something, please trust yourself enough to listen.

  • BabaYaga

    Lady Lee did a wonderful job of pointing out all of the things your very own body and mind are telling you! Like she said... "Listen!"

    Isn't it interesting how you first talk about how you have been worried and afraid of Armegeddon since you were a child, and then right away you say, "I not only love to fix (computers) but teach people as well so they realize it's just fear of the unknown that makes it scary."

    See the irony, here? You love showing people simple truths that take away their fear and anxiety. What simple truths are you denying yourself that will take away YOUR fears?

    Love and strength to you,

  • mouthy

    Oh my darling when I read this what you wrote,
    I've already sinned by thinking and by writing this post. Everything's a sin anymore.My heart ached for you. OUR Creator gave us each a brain & told us to use it.
    He also told us the reason he blocked the tree of life was because we had all the
    knowledge if we examine it. There is nothing man cannot do now.
    And man has... Man has taken over your mind. Russell started it,& many of us
    picked up on it. I was guilty when I was a 25 yr JW.
    Of course you have thought of suicide ,because living in the Watchtower
    world is practically hell.
    I am not suggesting that having good morals is wrong,But we all sin,there
    is NO ONE who hasnt at one time or another,that is the reason Christ paid it all
    THE CREATOR knows we are FLESH, & the flesh is weak. But read up on LOVE!!!!
    Not the way the WT teaches, UNCONDITIONAL ! Love is doing just as you did
    at that mans house,helping others, noticing love in action,( as you did there)
    Confess to one another is a good teaching, so we all confess on here how we feel
    You did that to us, & we thank you for sharing . God Bless !!!!

  • Heaven

    silent... I think you have some very similar thoughts that a lot of us here on this Forum have/had.

    I guess I need to read and concentrate more on topics such as God/Jehovah's love, mercy, kindness, as well as Jesus' qualities

    What you focus on expands. Focusing on positive qualities in your Spirituality (Leave a Legacy) is such a great idea! I hope you can do this. Have you ever spoken to Jesus? Do you feel that handing out Watchtower and Awake! magazines is truly the works that God outlined in the Bible? Do you feel this is accomplishing what you wish to regarding your Spirituality? Do you believe the WTS embraces 'true north principles' (supportive, loving, non-judgmental, honest, trustworthy... to name a few)? Have you defined what Legacy you wish to Leave in this world? I use these terms because these are the ones Stephen Covey uses in his book "First Things First". I recommend you read it along with "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". These both have a very positive message.

    What about your other needs? People are more than just 'spiritual'. How do you address your Physical (To Live), Emotional (To Love), and Mental (To Learn) needs?

    I see the WTS trying to force people to focus only on the Spiritual, to the exclusion of all else. I see them forcing their people to be door-to-door salesmen when this is not part of the peoples' true nature. This is harmful. I decided year's ago I wasn't a door-to-door saleman.

    I've already sinned by thinking and by writing this post.

    Can you show me the scripture that supports this statement?

    true test of morality is how you behave when you no longer fear discipline

    One of our local churches had this message on their sign one day: "Integrity is doing what is right when no one else is looking." Sounds to me like you have this down pat!

    Keep THINKING! God gave you a brain to do just this... and you have every right to use it.

  • bubble

    You can leave the organisation, but still love and serve God and Jesus. Then you get the best of both worlds. You can start to live a normal life and you can caring on worshipping in a way that is right for you. Please don't throw away your life worrying about man-made rules and doctrines. Life really is too short for all that. I wish you well, and hope you make the right decision.

    Marie. XXX

  • thomas15

    Hi silent,

    According to the Bible, this is the Gospel, 1 Corinthians 15:1-6

    1Now, brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. 2 By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.

    3 For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance [a] : that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, 5 and that he appeared to Peter, [b] and then to the Twelve. 6 After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep.

    The message of the gospel is one of hope and is positive. The Watchtower "gospel" is one of hopelessness and is negative. My advice, go with the positive gospel and never give Armageddon another thought.

    Paul, when asked by his Phillipian jailer "what must I do to be saved"? Paul informed him "believe on the Lord Jesus and you will be saved..." Acts 16:30-31

    It's just that simple silent.


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