ANY TAKERS?
WERE THERE ANY SHOWDOWNS ETC WITH ELDERS IN YOUR CONGREGATIONS?
by badboy 10 Replies latest jw friends
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flipper
Please clarify. You mean showdowns between elders towards elders- or elders towards members of congregations - or both ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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badboy
iAM THINKING BETWEEN ELDERS AND MEMBERS OF THE CONGREGAION,ALTHOUGH YOU COULD INCLUDE SHOWDOWNS BETWEEN ELDERS AS WELL.
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badboy
WHAT ONE?
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Bonnie_Clyde
An Unbelieve Mate asked his DF'd son-in-law to remodel his bathroom. The elders talked to UBM's wife and told her she should have used her influence to stop it. UBM called the elders and gave them the riot act. He told them they were no better than the gestapo. He went at them for at least ten minutes even though the elders tried to interrupt. UBM still goes to the meetings with his wife, but the elders keep their distance now,
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flipper
BADBOY- I had a couple of CLASSIC showdowns with elders with them on one trying to form a judicial committee meeting on me and another classic showdown actually involving false allegations against me at an appeal Judicial committee meeting. Both times I stared them in the eyes and didn't waver. I share both experiences and try to keep it brief as many have read or heard my experiences.
In the first experience in late 2003 I had been left a couple months before by my non-witness wife ( a methamphetamine drug abuser ) and I had been seen having coffee with a female friend while I was separated at a Starbucks by local JW in my congregation. So 3 elders call me in before a Thursday night meeting into the back room. I thought they had polite motives to check on me after my marriage broke up. Nope. They had their agenda ! They said somebody saw me having coffee with a lady . I said she was a friend who was cheering me up. Then the elders said I shouldn't be dating , as I wasn't scripturally free to re-marry. I stated I'm NOT dating- she was just a friend and no I was NOT looking at re-marrying. Then they asked me if I had touched the lady's breasts or private area . I said, " No. Of course not. " They asked if I planned on taking back my drug addicted wife. I said " No. She doesn't want my teenage witness daughters visiting us at our home. Wants me to visit them in a park a neutral location. " Then the P.O. elder said, " Well- that's a good thing your ex-wife wants to get back with you. Just make her feel comfortable and don't have your daughters visit at your home ! " I stared in amazement and shock.
I told the elder I strongly disagreed with that counsel in favoring a drug addict over my witness daughters. Then one of the younger elders said, " Well, Mr. Flipper you said you and your wife who just left went to several sessions of marriage counseling - it makes us wonder how serious you took your marriage if after 2 months of her leaving , you are out on a date with another woman ." I wanted to jump across the table and strangle him ! I said, " I resent you imputing wrong motives to me and insinuating I am to blame here. My wife was the one who left , not me and ask my children or witness relatives and you'll see how hard I worked to save that marriage. " I was steaming !! With that I went to my seat, picked up my books and walked out of the kingdom hall - that was almost 6 years ago, never went back. A$$HOLES. I'll tell you my other showdown after you comment on this one. Don't want to make this post too long
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penny2
They would do themselves and everyone else a favour if they just kept out of other people's private business.
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Tuesday
I remember vaguely reading your story Mr. Flipper before, ridiculous they would try to get you to go back to someone like that. I'm waiting with baited breath for the second story.
Mine isn't nearly as good as that, I have long hair now back when I was younger I tried to grow it long. By long it was collar length, but all one length. So I was told that I could no longer handle the microphones and all that fun stuff. I go through phases of needing my hair long and needing my hair short so I got in the mood to cut my hair one day so I impusively ran into a salon and got this whacked out punk hair-style. Which apparently was perfectly fine, my whole head was in a buzz-cut except the bangs which I left long. Oh and died the whole thing jet black. So the elders came up to me to tell me that I could have my priviledges back. I kind of have a problem with authority and especially people thinking I was listening to them when I really wasn't, so I asked the elder if he could write down all the priviledges I could have with my new "acceptable" hair style. He asked why, and I responded "So you can crumple it up REAL small and shove it!"
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troubled mind
The back story first is this :
At one time my son was encouraging an unbaptzed girl that was a new study attending the hall . Because they were friendly to each other the Elders ASSumed they were dating and began harASSing my son (at the time he was 17/18 a senior in High School and she was 18 out of school ) One Elder pulled him aside and told him he should not persue this girl because she was the 'wrong' type of girl (she had tattoo's and dressed punk-style) The Elder then proceeded to tell my son's friends(behind his back ) to watch out associating with him until they could see he was following their council . They also took his priviledges away and started picking on his dress and grooming (which was total BS because he had worn the same style of haircut and same suit for over a year and was given G's on his talk council slips for dress and grooming ) All of this because he was just friends with this girl !
So since they were assumed to be dating anyway they DID start seeing each other ,but only in a supervised manner at our home or the home of the couple she was staying with .Us adults had sat down with them discussed appropriate guidelines ,when they could see each other (always with adults around ect.) The Elders were furious with us and had several meetings trying to pin immoral behavior on them . At one such meeting they told this 'NEW" study she was a cold icy wind up the backs of those in the congregation and that until she proved herself no one would really trust her actions !!! nice right .... They also told me I could not study with her because I was too close to the situation , she of course could not believe they were sanctioning who could or could not discuss the Bible with her . The Elder wanted his perfect "barbie doll " (no Offense Barbie ) daughter to study with her ,this girl had no intention of putting up with that ,but made concessions to keep peace .
Finally after several months of this crap another two Elders call for us to meet with them and our son (by this time the girl and my son were once again only friends and had decided not to date each other )
At this meeting they start right in ASSuming much mis information ......I BLEW MY TOP ....they had not even consulted with the other gestapo team and were rehashing old business that was already dealt with . I lit into the Elder speaking and was shaking with anger over their stupidity my husband kept pulling my arm "saying settle down dear "....Then the Elder apologizes and says , "sorry we didn't know all of this had already been taken care of ......
But, just so no one in the hall are stumbled it would be best the two young people don't talk together at the hall ! Some may have a problem with them talking to each other ...... "
This is the point I started yelling in his face "Don't you ever tell my son who he can or can not talk to in God's house ! For crying out loud it is not like they are going to fornicate in the coat room, they are just talking ! As far as someone having a problem with it well then you are right it is their problem let them GET OVER IT ".... I told them don't ever bring this topic up again to us .....and left .
My son was shocked ,but happy I had stood up to them .