by journey-on 17 Replies latest jw friends
This sounds silly. But what I miss about being a part of a close knit congregation is the showers. I loved going to the bridal showers, baby showers, wedding showers. Doctrine and religious ideology aside, women especially like belonging to a group where they can participate in these kinds of milestone celebrations with friends and loved ones. I haven't had that since I left and I miss it sometimes.
Is that shallow, or what?
I completely agree with the need for women friends and our celebrations. I was not born in and so I have been able to carry on with family & childhood friends. I imagine it takes time and is difficult to make those sorts of friends as an adult. I hope you can find replacements.
BF
I miss the showers too....the fungii under my armpit is atrocious
Is that shallow, or what?
Not at all! It's how they do it, the threat of taking everything from your life.
I did not replace my JW congregation with another religious affiliation. Organized religion is not my thing. The friends I have now were developed one by one individually over time apart from a group.
It's the circle of friends I sometimes miss, where everybody knows everybody else in "the group" and we all know each other's kids. It's that little excitement you get when one of your dearest friends tells you her daughter is getting married and you and another friend plan a bridal shower for the young lady you've known all her life.
I miss that sometimes. I think groups are valuable. You share and celebrate life's events together. When you look around the circle of women at a baby shower and realize these are women you have shared a huge part of your life with and their kids are practically your kids....well, you know what I mean.
Hi Journey-On,
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I miss that sense of community and family as well. I think it can be found in other groups, and they don't have to be religious groups. It does take time and effort, but I'm finally starting to find my community, I think. Mine is within the artist world (I'm narrowing it down, and haven't yet found my family, but I know they are out there!). We humans are social animals and we need this sense of community and belonging and involvedness. The Jehovah's Witnesses most definitely gave us this feeling!
Do you have a passion? Is there an organized group in your area that does this hobby or passion? You might find your community within this group.
Or how about at your job? Though sometimes people say to not get too close to your coworkers, my career life has been enriched by befriending my women coworkers. My closest friends are women from past jobs with whom I still keep in touch.
If you were simply just wanting to vent here and see who can relate, I surely can, and I know many others can too! I have a small handful of friends, and it has taken me years to feel like I even have that many. I had literally hundreds of them as a Jehovah's Witness. They really are effective at taking everything away from you, aren't they?
Take care,
GoddessRachel
I miss the monthly Candle Light and Pampered Chef pitches myself... Now where else am I going to get a rotating cheese grater?
- Lime
Blithe...you're lucky. I was born in and it was all I knew. When I left, I focused on my kids and my career and didn't fully comprehend the future need for a circle of women friends. I wish I had known then what I know now.
ninja...I'm glad I don't have to live with you.
beks...thanks. I'm glad it's not so shallow after all.
GoddessRachel...yes, we are social creatures. I'm glad you're finding a community to belong to. My story is tattered in places, and I doubt where I live now there are very many women who can relate to it. I'm just grateful for the individual friends I have. The circle is gone for good I'm afraid.
HintofLime...I love Pampered Chef! (although I HATE to cook. Go figure.)
Aw, thanks, Journey-On, that's sweet of you to say. Don't give up hope. There's always hope.
~GR
LOL at HintofLime! The only time to relax socially was to help a sister sell to the others and have a little party! LOL!
I was washing the last Pampered Chef pot I have left yesterday, thinking about the sister who organized getting the set for me as new bride! I don't know if I can let that last one go and replace it!
No, you're not shallow. You miss friends and kids and the whole circle. Even when you felt on the outskirts, you were still usually invited and shared others joy with them. It was our "holiday"! I miss being able to pick up something cute for a baby to have for some new little one coming! No reason to now. I don't hardly know anybody!
I think it was kind of a "small town" feel. They were the only ones we could socialize with, and therefore meant a great deal to us. Even though we were thrown away later! It's that sense of community. I miss it too.
