Found this tonite while online. I was comforted to know that we have all come out stronger...and why.
- Compassion & Empathy: Having survived cultic abuse, you may be readier to empathize with someone else's grief. It's easy to see the difference between the care and concern our commenters show each other and the hurtful sarcasm so prevalent in the blogosphere.
- Analytical Thought: Most former cult members who go through conscious recovery — whether with a professional or on their own — think deeply about their core concerns. Duped in the past, you may exercise keen judgment and discernment so it never happens again
- Social Activism & Altruism: Perhaps you joined a cult to seek spirituality or social justice. This often remains a core value after you leave. You may go on to political activism, cult activism, involvement in charity through your church or other organizations.
- Survival: Don't overlook the simple fact you survived cultic abuse with your mind and body intact. Celebrate this every day.
- Courage: This is particularly true if you walked out on your own. And it's present to the nth degree if you are an adult child of cult members. You never knew another way of life and may have lost your family and friend support network when you left. Yet you still left — and stayed out.
- Resourcefulness: Anybody who leaves a cult demonstrates a high-degree of self-reliance, resourcefulness, and independence. These strengths are strong pillars you will build a new life on.
- Skills: Don't overlook the skills you learned in your cult. Perhaps you learned a craft or profession. Using them after you leave is an ultimate revenge on the cult. But nearly everyone in a proselytizing group learned how to speak articulately and passionately. These are skills that are invaluable in career and family life.
- Sense of Humor: Freud termed this a "high-level defense" and praised its value for meeting life's challenges. In the cult, maybe we relied on sarcasm and other hurtful speech. But our commenters here show a gentle, playful sense of humor that is life-supporting.
- Optimism: People who throw off their cults' shackles are among the most optimistic people I know. You show a realistic view of the amazing possibilities of life now lived in freedom.
- Gratitude: It's easy to be grateful for every day lived when you recover from repression, fear, anxiety, depression, harsh judgment, and the other cult-life realities.
- Honesty & Trustworthiness: Many of us react strongly to the lies, fraud, and even criminality we participated in when in our cults. You may now resolve to live with a high-degree of honesty and integrity.
- Openness & Reflectiveness: These come with time. Many people first leaving a cult are closed down and suspicious. But you may come to live transparently, share experiences and feelings, and fearlessly reflect on them consciously.
- Inquisitiveness & Willingness to Explore: Did you become involved with your group because you were open to new things? After leaving, bolstered with increased analytical thinking, your openness is an attractive quality many people are drawn to.
- Fearlessness: Many, many go on to start businesses, go back to school, begin writing books, and much more. You may be eager to grab your "second chance" and head in new directions.
- Flexibility: In our cults, we learned at least two cultures, two languages. There was the language of the group — and then there was the language of "straight" society. Use that situational flexibility to further your career, develop new social skills, raise your kids. (What parent doesn't have to be flexible?)
- Ability to Cope with Difficulties: The pressures you experienced in your group may make you more able to handle stressful situations. It feels great when you stop beating your head against a wall! And handling the normal strains of mainstream life seem like nothing after the cult.
- Use External Challenges as Stimulus for Growth: You may be more conscious about turning bad things into good things
- Intelligence & Creativity: The truth is cults attract the intelligent and creative. They can't use the weak. Some of the brightest and most creative people I've known were in a group. Freed from cult repression, you can go on to a remarkably successful career.
- Curiosity: Perhaps the same child-like curiosity — in the best sense — that led you into your group will lead to a rich and fulfilling life outside.
- Ability to Find Meaning Even in Adversity: You may find spiritual — or social/secular — meaning in what you endured.
- Sense of Direction & Purpose: Perhaps because you are keenly aware of time lost in the cult, you can seek new purpose more intensely.
- Ability to Grieve: You will say goodbye to the trauma — and integrate the good things about your cult — through conscious recovery. Despite what critics may say, most former cult members do not dwell on the past and do move on. I wish the same for all reading this!