Birthdays and my six year old

by Rocky_Girl 7 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Rocky_Girl

  I am divorced from a JW and we have two children. I have been out for 10 years but we both were raised 'in.' We share custody so the little ones are a little confused as to why Mommy gives them a B-day party, has a Christmas tree and takes them to an hour of church mostly spent singing but Daddy just drags them to 5 hours of lecture a week and won't let them be friends with the neighbor kids.

  Sunday night, after a week with his father, my six year old told me that he can't celebrate his B-day because a guy got his head cut off in the bible at a B-day party. I told him that one time someone got killed in a car wreck, so I guess we shouldn't drive our car anymore. He looked at me and a lightbulb practically appeared over his head as he got it. (he is a smart kid, too smart for my own good) I'm sure that the ex will fill his head with more BS about B-days, any suggestions or personal experiences that might inspire me for future questions?

  Angie
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  allelsefails

  It is tough with a kid that young. If you still use the Bible you can use Romans 14:4-6 and explain that the bible says no one should be forced to stop celebrating a day they want to celebrate. If Daddy doesn't want to celebrate birthdays that's OK, and If you want to celebrate that's OK too. But I've never tried to explain the idea of a decision based on "conscience" to a six year old. I like the response you already gave though. Straight and simple is where "truth" is really found.
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  MissingLink

  You're doing great! Teach the kids TO think rather than WHAT to think!
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  hubert

  Rocky-girl said: "my six year old told me that he can't celebrate his B-day because a guy got his head cut off in the bible at a B-day party. I told him that one time someone got killed in a car wreck, so I guess we shouldn't drive our car anymore."

  That's EXACTLY how I answer anyone that brings this up to me, too. I think it's the best answer to give.

  I'm glad to hear your son "got it".

  Hubert

  edited to add: If your son asks you any other questions that you are not sure how to answer, don't answer right away and ask us first, and someone here will give you ideas on what to say. Then just tell your kid:"Remember the other day you asked me a question about.....?"

  Keep us informed on your progress.
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  sweet pea

  I love your response - a great way of helping your son develop critical thinking skills.

  A great book to help with this area is "Raising Freethinkers: A Practical Guide for Parenting Beyond Belief" and the first book "Parenting Beyond Belief: Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Wihout Religion".

  You could also take a look at Job 1:4 in a few different bibles and discuss the verse with your son - it's not conclusive but it does appear that all of faithful Jobs sons celebrated their birthdays.........

  You are doing a great job.
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  Rocky_Girl

  Thank you for your responses. I will share the scripture about Job with him tonight when we read out of his children's bible book. The one in Romans would work, too, next time he brings it up. He is little so I will go slow. I'm sure I will be on with more questions.

  Sweet Pea: I will go get that book, I want to be able to spare him the agony I went through as a child.

  Angie
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  babygirl75

  It is hard for children that young. My ex at first was always saying bad things about the holiday's, but as time has gone by, he has finally quit. I think he has just accepted that we are going to celebrate things. My son was confused at things at first, but kids are smart, and he has realized he is able to think for himself and make his own decisions. Something that I 100% support, him thinking for himself. A liberty I never had as a child! I always answer him honestly and fairly about things and then let him make his mind up for himself.

  You're doing a great job!
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  angeleyes110900

  Love the reply, very weird though, becuase I used the same reply over the weekend while discussing how jw's pick to celebrate a wedding anniversary but they can't celebrate the birth of their child, nor the birth of Jesus! If not for the birth of either of those people I wouldn't be who I am!