do things almost sublimilinally?......and though you cant stand to bear the consequenses of losing all friends and family......you so want to be free and grow that you are reckless?......oompa
do any have a jw death wish?...get reckless just to get df'd?....like you...
by oompa 9 Replies latest jw friends
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dinah
Oomps, that was what I did when I was a teenager. Looking back I know I just wanted out. I stayed in trouble from the time I was about 15 until they tired of my constant crap when I was 18. It was too hard to just leave, so I gave them no choice but to kick me out. But reckless? H*ell yeah!
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villabolo
Yes. Even though I was young and somewhat naive I approached an elder on a matter that I knew would get me disfellowshiped. It was not a doctrinal matter per se but could be considered a challenge to the "FDS". Even though I had asked to speak to one elder another one, the congregation hatchet man, came in uninvited.
What troubled me was how they called themselves "The Truth". I told them that I believed they had the truth absolutely (A slight fib but mostly true) but that since Jesus called himself the Truth, the Way, and the Life it would be inappropriate to take that phrase as a title no matter how theologically correct they may be.
I knew that was going to get me disfellowshipped and it did. Deep down inside I wanted to get disfellowshipped but not for anything rather for an issue, any matter of integrity. I was skipping meetings, having anxiety attacks in field service. I was deeply, subliminally as you said oompa, planning and preparing for the boot. I had other conflicting desires like disassociating myself since there is more dignity in that but I was reckless in writing a letter to the hatchet man that told him in no uncertain terms what I thought of the Faithless and Indiscreet Master.
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Hopscotch
Looking back over the past 6 months I would say that subconsciously I knew things had to come to a head so we could be free to get on with the rest of our life. I said little things to my family about the org and our feelings about it which ended up in an ultimatum - go back or else. Deep down I think we knew it had to happen even though it meant the loss of my family. Haven't been df'd (even though my dad said he was going to our elders about us) because we care for my mother - in - law (living with us) who is still a staunch JW. Her other son is over in Brooklyn in the writing dept - we are in Australia. I think it is convenient for the elders and her other son not to have us df'd yet because who else would look after her? Even after losing our so-called friends and my family, the relief of not pretending anymore and the freedom to live our life the way we want is fantastic.
I like this quote:
"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." --Alan Cohen
Hopscotch
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oompa
hopscotch........i know some here think i should grow balls.....and im happy for you.....but i notice you say "we"....you are so lucky my friend........oompa
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Hopscotch
I know that I'm lucky oompa. For a while it didn't look like that would be the case as I probably left the JWs mentally about 12 months before hubby but he eventally saw it for what it was too. Don't give up hope. But on the other hand life's too short to live it not being true to yourself as I discovered last year at the age of 48.
Hopscotch
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WTWizard
I'm in a position where I would be better off out than in, and the hounders know it. Hence, I am sure that if I wrote a disassociation letter, there is a good chance that it would be thrown out and I would be recaptured and held there, where I would have no freedom to miss a boasting session or blow off field circus.
However, I have wasted some of their time trying to argue about whose turn it was to hound me. I also have bought "sun-worship" decorations at Wal-Mart and Target during 2007 and 2008, and I have prominently displayed "sun-worship" lights that can be seen from the street behind my apartment on purpose. I am sure there have been many a fight during hounders meetings about whose turn (or which congregation) it is to hound me to go back--or to recapture me once for all time.
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crazyblondeb
Oompa,
just like dinah, i made the elders work for their titles. I finally ran away from home
at 17, after i found out I was to be called into another elder's meeting. I just snapped.
I literally disappeared for 2 weeks. Later that summer when i came back to get my
clothes, an elder, that was a neighbor, saw the car there. I got that "one" question, "do you
believe the governing body is the blah blah blah! I thought a minute, cause i knew that
would effect the rest of my life. I laughed in his face and called them a bunch of old geezers.
My mom wailed and cried. I left, knowing I had done what I had to do for me.
It's been a hard path and journey.....but I couldn't stay on their path to a life of hell.
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Quirky1
Easy there Trigger!! You don't wanna go do anything stoopid. You still have freinds and family in and you need to maintain that relationship. Unless, you just gotta have that feeling of freedom of course. But I would suggest skydiving to get that rush.
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viva
Once I realized I had to get out, I decided it would be beter to be DFed rather than DA because of the lesser stigma. So for a time I tried to smoke. I even intentionally went to meeting smelling of cigarette smoke, and it did not work. I also discovered I could not stand cigarette smoking. So I turned to fornication and found that suited me quite well.