Basically, it wouldn't be a cult anymore. The last few ocassions I have spoken with jws, I make a point to ask about their dfd sons, daughters, parents, etc. They always hang their heads in shame and mutter a few regretful words. It is what they have been taught to do.
Then I make a comment to them saying something nice about the dfd/fading relative. One lady told me her son was divorced and had a new girlfriend and had no interest in the "truth". I said I hoped he found happiness with his new girlfriend because I always liked him.
They are usually caught of guard because they expect you to shake your head and be sad. I haven't come across one jw who didn't stop and allow the real personality to show for just a moment.
It's truly sad how all hope for someone they love has been taken away from them. One mother, years ago, told me we wouldn't care if our children were destroyed by God. I was already having serious doubts about the religion and that helped to seal it for me.
Legalism over love is what is demanded, but it can be untaught. We used to think that way to some degree. It is so freeing when you realize it's the other way around.