Advice Please!!!!

by nevergonnab1 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • nevergonnab1
    nevergonnab1

    I'm new here so I'll give a little background first.

    I've never been a witness and I'll NEVER be one. My husband is but he hasn't been to any functions in about 15 years, I guess if he did start attending again he would be DF'd because he impregnated a "worldly" girl (me) out of wedlock and then married a "worldly" girl (me again).

    I need advice because his family relentlessly asks my children to attend and bribes them with VERY extravagant gifts. I won't allow them to go so they stay pissed at me because they don't get the gifts. My husband and I fight all the time because he doesn't see anything wrong with them going, and his family is always pissed at me because I won't let them go. His family knows how I feel about the issue because we discussed it length a couple of years ago. I feel as if they are doing this to cause my family to be unhappy.

    Any Advice?

  • Quirky1
    Quirky1

    Stick to your guns girl...

  • sspo
    sspo

    Give your husband info about the watchtower.

    Keep your children from being brainwashed.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Put your foot down even firmer than you already have by telling your inlaws that either the attempted bribery stops or they don't see the kids at all...period!

    Ask your husband why he left the jws, and since it wasn't for him, why would it be good for the kids.

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    Would you expose your children to corporate corruption ?

    The JWS aggressively promote their religious beliefs, because they have been taught to do so, mostly out of financial greed and power,

    from the leadership.

    Its sickening to see children getting a full measure of this corruption rammed down their throats by their supposedly responsible parents.

    Exposing young impressionable minds to this kind of emotional fear, can be quite damaging to children , the number of

    suicides and psychological problems in among JWS is a proving example of what kind of damage that can result.

  • hubert
    hubert

    It sounds like your husband still believe's it's "the truth", and that's why he sees no harm in letting the kids go to the meetings with grandparents.

    I think once you get your husband to realize that it's all lies, he will back you up. So, your objective here is to get him to read up on the Watchtower history and let HIM see the lies and hypocrisy that the Watchtower is full of.

    You can start by getting him to read "Crisis of Conscience" by Ray Franz.

    edited to add: I'm glad to see you finally were able to figure out how to do a full post.

    Hubert

  • hubert
    hubert

    By the way, welcome to the board.

    Stick around, many people here can help you. We have lots of information we can share with you and your husband, if and when he wants it.

    Hubert

  • Quirky1
    Quirky1

    Oh yeah, Welcome!!

  • ziddina
    ziddina

    Welcome! And best results with your children! I've posted the information shown below on a couple of other threads (sorry 'bout the repetition for those of you who've already read it...) but perhaps reading this book would help:

    Here's a quote from a book I'm reading right now, about the WTBTS dependence (kind of sounds like a drug addiction, doesn't it?) on second- and third-generation JWs [aka: impressionable young children] to increase their membership rolls. This is from the book, "Jehovah's Witnesses - Portrait of a contemporary religious movement" by Andrew Holden, published in 2002 by Routledge, of London and New York. (This is a sociological study of the religion - no underlying bias or religious agenda.) In the chapter titled "Honour thy father and thy mother" under the subheading "The ones who say 'no'", starting on page #140:

    "Continued membership of a totalitarian organization is never unconditional.... Communities like this are dependent on those born into them for long-term survival. The movement owes much of its success to horizontal and vertical recruitment. Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces, cousins, in-laws, grandparents and grandchildren are all prime candidates for baptism - a rite of passage that boosts the Society's membership. Were it not for the significance of kinship, the Witnesses would not have had nearly the amount of success they have either in recruitment or in sustaining high levels of commitment..." End Quote

    [The following paragraph contains my comments - Zid] [Obviously the WTBTS is FULLY AWARE of this factor in their membership increases. Yet another reason for the Society to continue the 'shunning' aka 'disfellowshipment' practices as they are in place now. I heard some rumor about the WTBTS re-naming it?? But the practice serves to hold families as spiritual hostages in order to ensure compliance of critics, dissenters and potential deserters presently on the edges of the Society, and to bring many back into the spiritual fold who would otherwise be unwilling to continue membership in the organization - witness the number of posts about the Memorial in which people attend in order to avoid being cut off from or disrupting families.]

    [From the book, "Jehovah's Witnesses - Portrait of a contemporary religious movement"] The author continues: "In a world in which people are allegedly free to choose from a whole range of options, children's acquiescence matters to the Society as never before... Beckford, J.A. (1975a; The Trumpet of Prophecy: a Sociological Study of Jehovah's Witnesses, Oxford: Basil Blackwell) discovered that around two-thirds of second-generation Witnesses over sixteen remained active members. This was also borne out in the General Social Survey of 1994 that showed a retention rate of around 70 percent.... At the macro level, the Governing Body has a responsibility to ensure that parents in every congregation are supported to the nth degree...because it must consider long-term survival. So long as children toe the line, all will be well; but those who break away from the movement do damage to its membership statistics. Children are the movement's bread and butter." End Quote. Highlights mine - Zid

    To any Jehovah's Witness [active, inactive, fading] who may be hesitant to read so-called 'apostate' literature, let me point out this personal illustration of mine:

    "I've always compared the WTBTS's fear of so-called 'apostate' - in many cases, secular - studies of their religion - to a submarine cruising the Great Barrier Reef off of the Australian coast with its sonar turned off....

    If the WTBTS - or any of its individual members - can't hear the 'pinging' from the coral mountain in front - at full speed - guess where they're going to end up?? Negative feedback is every bit as crucial as positive feedback in setting a CORRECT course. Anyone who is afraid of negative feedback is deliberately blinding themselves as to where they are going!!"

    Sure hope this helps... Zid

  • cameo-d
    cameo-d

    Welcome Never! Glad to see you found your way back.

    Young children are impressionable.

    If the GP get your children out of your sight they will tell them stories that are scarier than any 'wicked witch' stuff. Many people here have suffered nightmares and bedwetting as children just because of the horrors that have left scars since childhood. Even as adults they can't shake it and it has shaped their lives, usually in a detrimental way.

    As far as the bribes, that's awful. That's dirty tactics. I read one case on here where GP bribed kids like that and then, to top it off, would not let the children take the gifts back home with them. They would have to come to GP to play with their new toy. This only served to cause more resentment between child and parent.

    It certainly sounds like GP's are attempting to disrupt your lifestyle and cause division.

    The advice mentioned earlier to educate your husband is probably the best route to take. You need back-up here. And god-forbid they should start on him to go back. Then you might really be sunk and in for a life of heartache and trouble.

    Cameo-d

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