I am considering disassociation. Those who already have please reply. (page 2)

The Berean

Thanx for the heartfelt expressions.

There seems to be a ring of real "truth" attached to this thread.

Hey! Anyone want to go on vacation somewhere on the ocean this summer?

Did you have to write a letter or sign anything when you got baptized? Why do you need to write a letter to leave? The end result is the same regardless if you DA or are DF'd...you are treated as if you are disfellowshipped. If you simply walk away, you at least stand a chance of your family continuing to communicate with you.

You are probably feeling the need for closure. If it is closure that you need, then start living your life, right now. Take the class you couldn't take because it was on a meeting night. Go out with co-workers for happy hour. Send someone a birthday present. Buy yourself a birthday present. Take your cruise and make new friends. You may find that you will feel differently in a few months.

Everyone's situation and tolerance level is different, so do what you think is best for you. Whatever you decide, the sun is still going to rise in the morning.

Shop

Finally-Free

I was going to fade but the elders weren't content to let things happen peacefully. They started calling, banging on the door, and even chased my vehicle nearly causing an accident. They aborted their chase when they discovered my then-wife was driving. That crap went on nearly every week for 5 months. That's when I wrote them a letter warning them to cease their harassment and stop trespassing on my property or suffer the consequences.

At 45 years of age I didn't want to feel like an errant adolescent, looking over my shoulder to make sure a JW wasn't watching me. I wanted to sit on my porch with a beer and smoke without worrying about a JW seeing me. I didn't want to feel like I couldn't answer the door or phone in an effort to avoid elders who had no authority over me anyway.

In short, it's my life. I have everything to say about what I do with it. They have nothing to say. They were merely the shit on my shoes that needed to be scraped off so that the stench wouldn't continue to follow me wherever I went in life. If family members chose to be a part of that shit then they got scraped off with the rest of it.

W

passwordprotected

I was disassociated by my actions (attending church) in October 2008. Best thing I've ever done.

Yes, it can be very hard when you see the hypocrisy of the JWs still in who shun you while being far from squeaky clean themselves. Yes, it can be hard losing friends. Yes, it can be hard being described as the anti-christ.

But none of that compares with the joy and peace you experience when you're finally free from the domineering mind control - and perpetual guilt and insecurity - of an American publishing corporation.

jookbeard

sorry I cant give any advice , the lying cheating elders of my cong done it in my absence,

Gordy

I DA'd in September 2001. Because I no longer believed in what theytaught and had become a Christian.

Have never had a visit or call from any Elder since then.

My JW wife (we are separated) and two JW daughters have not seen or spoken to me since.

One of the daughters is getting married in June.

I and a son and another daughter, both also DA'd, can attend as long as we are "discreet".

"Discreet" in as sit at the back and watch some Elder give your daughter away at the wedding.

slimboyfat

Gordy that is so awful. I can't believe you are still in this situation. I imagined things would gradually get better for you but it seems there's been no improvement at all.

Mickey mouse

Gordy, I can't imagine how hard that is for you.

suchafool

I DA'd in sept. 2008. I don't have any family in so it was easier so to speak, to write a letter and end my relationship with an organization. I think if I had family in it would be real hard to leave. Your raised thinking family is more important than anything and to lose them because you disagree with false teachings is something very hard to deal with. I feel sorry for those on here who have family in. But I understand why they stay. I could never judge them for staying because of that, especially since I haven't walked that road. You have to make a choice for yourself. Everyone is different and if you stay for family than do that.

If you choose to leave be prepare to lose every close friend you have. They turn their backs on you real fast. Some have been lucky and had some keep talking to them but for the most part they will all shun you. I have a daughter and it was hard to tell her I was leaving the JW's and she would lose her best friend. It crushed her, but we talk about it and I try to help her see that what mom was teaching her wasn't right. She tells me now that she only went to the meetings because of her best friend, it was pretty boring for her.

I hope you make the right decision for you and your situation.

PrimateDave

I disassociated. It was a bit scary at first because I felt like I was giving up a big social network. At the same time I didn't want to lie to people about what I believed in. It has been over 2 1/2 years now, and I don't regret my decision.

Dave

I am considering disassociation. Those who already have please reply.