Hi Martini,
I know exactly how you feel, with a slightly different twist. I fell in love with a sister after knowing her for some years, and I knew she felt the same way. I wold one day tell her how I felt and that I wanted to marry her, spend the rest of my life with her.
She avoided the issue, her reasons were, she was afraid .... afraid because of the failed marriages of her own parents and some of the friends she grew up. I thought that was silly.
I decided to move on, no sense in torturing myself, I moved to New Jersey from New York City... at this point I decided that I would spend my time doing other things more in line with Witness activities, pioneer, etc. I decided if I was going to get married it will be later in life after I had fulfilled certain quest. It was then that I met a sister, who hated my guts, well one thing led to another, and we started seeing each other, and some three years later we got married, ten years later we're still together.
Shortly after I started seeing my wife, the sister in New York found out and called me up and pledged her undying love for me ... wow ... what to do ... the women I loved for so long, now wants me ... but being a person who doesn't like to play with emotions, I simply told her that I was now seeing someone and that I just can't dump her because you now decided to want me.
So it ended like that ... I often wonder what life would have ben like had I did marry her ... no doubt divorced since I left the Witnesses ... but who knows.
I later found out from a friend that she met a brother who was visiting from California, and after about three months they got married ... hope she's happy!
"People in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones"