Yesterday, my wife and I went to the funeral of a 52 year old man who, based on what we observed at the funeral service, was a well loved person who loved life, and loved everyone who he came in contact with. Everyone that came in contact with him, shared this feeling for him, also. In fact, that was the theme of the service. Although based on what I observed, (and I could be wrong) he did not live a religious life, although he wasn't a bad person. He did not do everything the way he should have. He smoked, drank, and partied, but he did this with a passion to live a full life. He did this with anyone who wanted to share his love for life. He was not a mean person. He loved everybody, including all his family. This was said at his funeral service. It was said at the service that anyone who came in contact with him, became his friend. He was that kind of a person.
His son, who I will call Billy, who is married to our niece, misses him very much. He feels so bad that his father of only 52 years old is gone, and we can understand that to the fullest. We really do feel bad for him. He is a very nice young man, and takes very good care of his growing family. The son and his family are all Jehovah Witnesses. The father and the rest of the family are Catholic.
After the service, we were invited to a restaurant for a gathering and meal. After the meal, when driving home, my wife said that her sister (who is a Jehovah Witness, said that she is "upset that Billy's Dad went to Las vegas last week with friends, rather than taking the offer of his son to spend his last remaining time on earth with his son, Billy". (not exactly in these words, but this is the gist of the conversation). Keep in mind that his father didn't know how much time he had left. He knew time was running out, because he was full of cancer, but still didn't know if it would be two weeks, or two months. So, he decided to have one last hurrah before dying. Perhaps he planned to spend time with his son when he got back from Las Vegas.
So, thinking about what my sister-in-law said about how she was "upset" because Billy's Dad chose to go to Las Vegas rather than spend his last days with his son, I realised something was missing here.
What was missing, was all the times that there were holidays, his Dad celebrated it fully with his Catholic family. Where was Billy? He was at meetings, and wasn't allowed to participate in holiday/family get togethers. So, he had an opportunity to spend more time with his Dad at family gatherings, but the Watchtower Society forbid it !!!! So, Billy lost out.
Two other reasons why I think this was the case. There was a collage of photos of Billy's Dad. There were many picture of his Dad at family parties and holidays, and of all the pictures I saw, I only saw one of Billy with his Dad. I thought this was odd, but then realized that Billy wouldn't be in most of these pictures, because he was not allowed to go to these gathering...Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, birthdays, etc, because of the Watchtower Society's man-made rules.
The other thing that my wife noticed, and I agreed with, was the fact that Billy was standing next to his (Catholic) sister, and we noticed that they didn't acknowledge each other, in the way that family would have, such as holding hands, hugging, consoling. She is younger than him, so you would have thought he would be trying to console her as she would be crying. Of course, I wasn't watching them all the time, so he may have done that, but I just didn't see any of it.
So what I am trying to say here is, based on what my sister-in-law says that it is all his Dad's fault that his Dad didn't spend his last time on earth with his son. What she didn't say was, the son was not allowed to spend time with his dad at family gatherings, thanks to the Watchtower Society.
This is what people don't understand. The Watchtower Society alienates their members from their real family, and the Witnesses turn the blame around onto the family when they feel that the family isn't close to them.
And this is what my j.w. daughter and son-in-law don't see, either. Although we are on good terms with our daughter and son-in-law, some day when either my wife or I pass away, they won't have the memories and pictures of spending the holidays with us and the rest of our families. I really feel bad for their loss, but there's nothing we can do about it. Here's hoping that soon they will realize how wrong this is.
I feel bad for Billy that he missed all those opportunities to be with his Dad. Maybe that's why his Dad decided what he did, was because he was not that close to his son, because of the Watchtower's control.
Hubert