Choosing Death (for born ins)

brinjen

It's a powerful weapon isn't it? Death. It was used on all of us at one stage when we were inside of that cult. Especially on us born-ins.

We were taught that this world isn't going to be around much longer. That everything around us is only temporary. That everyone who wasn't in the favour of the org was going to die soon. Leaving this org would guarantee your death. We believed it, after all we'd been trained to think that way since birth.

Yet, despite all of this we chose to leave all of that behind. At the time, most of us still believed that armageddon was just around the corner so by leaving we were making sure the birds would get a nice feed. But we still left... we chose death... literally. We thought we were weak at the time for doing this... were we?

Maybe we were a lot stronger at the time than we realised. After all, hate had been sold to us as love, compliance as individuality and free thinking... thoughts are free aren't they? And well, to be honest, for many of us the thought of spending eternity with people like those in our kingdom halls just wasn't worth the effort. We weren't like them, and no matter how hard we tried, we never could be like them. Again, we thought this was a weakness on our behalf, but was it really or just how they wanted us to think?

All of us here had the most powerful weapon used against us... and they still couldn't break us. Yet, they call us 'weak'. Thoughts? cookie

loosie

I like your post. My husband told me that he didn't want to live forever if these elders were goign to be the ones in charge of it all. Princes in men...yeah right.

I think it's the weak who stay in and the strong find the will to leave.

BabaYaga

Oh yes, it is used against us alright. What is even worse is when they use the threat of NOT seeing our loved one resurrected! "Don't you want to be there when **** is resurrected?" As if we are leaving them because we don't miss the ones we have lost in death... some by THEIR DOGMA... lost to abusive husbands, lost to depression and suicide after disfellowshipping, lost to refusal of a blood transfusion...

We are not weak. We are AMAZING.

agh. I got myself rather upset answering this one... but I do love your cookie munching emoticon.

Love,
Baba.

dinah

Thanks for posting that here, Brin.

I had never thought of it like this before. We faced death down and told it to Go to Hell! Let me live, let me live without the CONSTANT message that I'm not good enough.

Powerful words, Brin.

crapola

My mom uses the" not seeing my dad in the ressurection ,"all the time to try and make me go back. It won't work though. Actually, it just makes me mad. Mad that they will try and bribe you to stay in. I wonder how many stay in because of the fear of not being there for the ressurection?

WTWizard

Actually, I would rather get destroyed than live forever in the conditions that they are portraying for me. Why would I wish to live forever with nothing but other men, never having the opportunity to do anything I want? And having everything I do be what someone else tells me to? I wouldn't.

Witness 007

Death is better then singing Kingdom songs for all eternity.

penny2

"Merely to exist is not enough." This was a saying I came across when I still believed it was "the truth" - and I believed I was choosing death. But to go on as a JW was "merely existing." I couldn't do it any longer.

Black Sheep

I knew I could never be good enough, so I drifted away, unbaptised, and waited for God to kill me.

Suicide with an imaginary gun.

Pathetic.

Cheers

Chris

no more kool aid

I too, am constantly reminded by my "in" relatives that I am going to die, I am not going to see dead parents and grandparents, and worst of all I am killing my children. I will probably never shake this inner feeling of gloom and doom. I hope my children had less indoctrination and can live normal lives.

Loosie, I mentioned the same thing to my Mom, that it didn't appeal to me to live under the tutalige of our local elder body. She accused me of being suicidal. Kind of comical from the lady talking death all the time!

Choosing Death (for born ins)

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