An interesting email I got from a DA'd friend I was catching up with

by JimmyPage 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  JimmyPage

  Recently I got back in touch with a DA'd friend that I grew up with. I'm going to focus on one part of her email because I think it's relevant to this board. When I mentioned that I had been on an ex-JW website, she writes:

  "Outside the organization, if you ask former JW's who are fixated on deriding the organization and spend their waking hours telling stories of how false the religion and it's people are, you will only get distracted and confused. I stay away from those sad people. My heart goes out to them though, but they seem to be stuck in their own misery."

  Really though, I feel like being on this board has been more of a healing for me. There are a few posters here who may fit her description, but overall I feel like this site is a place of positive support to people who really need it and can relate to each other.

  What do you think of her statement?
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  mtsgrad

  Her comment indicates she is happy where she is now. Good luck to her I say.
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  noni1974

  I have lots of Ex JW friends who never feel the need to come to these boards at all. People I grew up with and know now as an adult ex jw. I mention these boards and they don't even feel like looking. I think some people need these boards and most do not. I'm one of the few I know who have left and come to the boards. I do it because I feel accepted here. There was a time in my life when I needed these boards for support. I came here after I was out for 7 years already. Had I not had the experiance I had with an elder on my uncles death bed I would never have found these boards. My life would have kept on going.
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  no more kool aid

  We ran into a couple over the summer, we were all friends when we first got married. They both come from big JW families but never got baptised. They came to meetings the first few years they were married but eventually just kind of fell away. They are very dis impassioned while talking about the organization, they go to the memorial to keep parents happy and that's it. They don't defend it and are not angry. I contend that they were not that invested to begin with. When you have built your life around this religion for decades and have given many things up for it, it pisses you off a little more when you find out it's a scam. Could it be that way with your friend ?
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  Jankyn

  Yep, I think No More Kool-Aid hit the nail on the head. I've met folks who weren't that messed up by the bORG, but it's because they weren't fully IN the bORG. My problem is that I listened and tried to make sense of it. If you just skate over the top, it's no big deal. What's more, I think a great many folks who consider themselves "religious" are that way. The people who get damaged the most psychologically and spiritually are those of us who want to dig deeper.
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  Priest73

  Shit. I just come here for the cookies and punch.
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  I quit!

  I can see why someone like her might feel that way. Some people can make a clean break and move on. For others it isn't that easy. If you raise your children as witness and now they would speak with you or your spouse or parents are still in it can be difficult to deal with. For many joining the watchtower is the mistake that keeps on giving long after they have left it. Another reason some come here to help others through the difficult situations the Watchtower has created in their lives. If I had left a few years after I got involved with it I wouldn't be dealing with all the crap I deal with now but then again I would have met my wife.
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  JWdaughter

  I think there is something to how 'invested' a person is in it. If one spends a great deal of their life defending something, only to find it was, in truth, indefensible, you want to tell the world what a scam it is. Loudly or gently, but you feel like if you just let it go you are somehow participating in the lie.
  
  The lack of simple logic in the org. galls me.
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  oompa

  There is misery here...agony...tears...and loving support to help the damaged. The main goal of this support group is to help these ones become free and happy like your friend...if she was to spend some time here....she may see that.................oompa
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  sammielee24

  Outside the organization, if you ask former JW's who are fixated on deriding the organization and spend their waking hours telling stories of how false the religion and it's people are, you will only get distracted and confused. I stay away from those sad people. My heart goes out to them though, but they seem to be stuck in their own misery."

  Distracted and confused from what?

  sammieswife.