Outhouse

by Jim_TX 1 Replies latest social humour

• 

  Jim_TX

  Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out...
  
  "Pa, you need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
  
  Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."
  
  Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."
  
  So... Pa moseys out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back,
  
  "Ma, there ain't nuthin’ wrong with the outhouse!"
  
  Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"
  
  Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin’ my head in that hole!"
  
  Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."
  
  So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back,
  
  "Ma, There ain't nuthin’ wrong with this outhouse!"
  
  Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"
  
  Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling,
  
  "Ma, Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"
  
  To which Ma replies, "Hurt's, don't it?!"
• 

  purplesofa

  Cowboy Headstone
  Interesting epitaph...and five rules at the bottom
  
  
  Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in The Logan City Cemetery , Logan , Utah
  
  I wonder if he died knowing he won the'Coolest Headstone'?contest? (see attached picture)
  
  
  FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:
  
  1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,
  who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
  
  2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you
  laugh.
  
  3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust
  and who doesn't lie to you.
  
  4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed
  and who likes to be with you.
  
  5. It's very, very important that these four women
  do not know each other.

  

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?" "I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm." The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. I have never
  heard of that condition before," he said "Are you taking anything for it?"
  The woman nodded, "Pepper."