A letter To My Friend

by Garrett 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • Garrett

    Hey guys,

    So I've written up a letter to my friend that I plan on sending him to try to wake him up. He's a very sensible man who I care deeply for. Can you guys give me your opinions? Is there anything I can add?

    Here is the letter: Hi Anonymous,

    I hope all is well with you. I'd like to start off by sincerely apologizing for not responding to your texts or phone calls but I had to be left completely alone in order to weigh the facts and make the right decision.

    You are and always will be (for me) my best friend so I feel I should give you a reason for my disappearance.

    To be honest, I'm not too sure where to start. As you know, I have many issues with the brothers and sisters. One of the biggest ones is their hypocrisy. If there is one thing I despise it's hypocrites. People are friendly when you're around and then don't give a care in the world about you when you aren't. As the saying goes, out of sight out of mind.

    A while ago, I had told two elders that I was feeling really depressed. Note that both of these elders told me in the past, that if I got depressed, that I should contact them. Well, I did... can you guess what happened? I never received a response from either of them. I waited a week and received nothing.

    While there are many things that contributed to my leaving, some which are minor while others are more major issues, there is one major thing that I cannot ignore.

    Child sexual abuse being ignored. 3 news stations aired a news segment that the organization deliberately covered up child sexual abuse. At first I thought this would be a huge lie, so I watched it to see these people make fools of themselves. Well, I found out it was true when they showed scans of letters to the Body of Elders from Bethel that specifically stated that they were not to tell anyone, not the congregation, not the police that there could potentially be a child molster in their midst.

    Now, I can understand if the child abuse was covered up by elders at their own accord, since we could say that they are earthly and sinful men, however, when the organization itself tells the elder not to speak of the abuse, then I have a huge problem. And to top it off, we had Lett, in the recent JW broadcast tell us that it was all a lie. Can he explain why he said it's a lie when there are scans of official documents from the branch office as well as depositions from elders confirming that they knew about a child being molested but were told not to tell authorities.

    Here is a link for you to look at: http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/leaders-jehovahs-witnesses-cover-child-sex-abuse/

    So, I cannot be part of a religion that deliberately covers up child abuse. Now, Anonymous, I understand how this looks and I understand if you wish to show the elders my letter and I understand if you refuse to talk to me anymore. All I want you to remember is that I think you're an amazing person and someone who is very close to my heart.

    Love and peace,


    What do you think? Also, @Simon , would it be possible for me to PM you and you could delete this entire post at a later time?

    Thanks in advance for your time guys!
    As always, peace and love,
  • wisdomfrombelow

    Since you put it out there for us to comment I will comment. Reading this and your last letter about the gift you received from the congregation makes me think you should NOT send this letter. Since your friend was calling and texting and you refused to respond, perhaps you should just state that you want to talk to him. Somethings are better said "face to face" especially if you really want to reach his heart.

  • nowwhat?
    I would do it in person not a letter.
  • Gone and forgotten
    Gone and forgotten
    Definitely do it in person. If he's your close friend, he cares about you and is worried. Let him see you're ok. This will also open the way for discussion and not make him feel like you're slamming a door in his face.

    I think you should be prepared for the possibility that your friend may never Want to talk to you again. This cult reaches deep.

    just saying

  • joe134cd
    If your not disfellowshiped already, this will surely be the thing to do it.
  • Garrett

    Hey guys, Thanks for the response.

    At this stage, I don't care if I'm DFed. I've lost everything before, I'm not scared.

    I actually rather not do this in person because I don't want to have a confrontation with him. The written word would be better. If he reacts favorably or asks to meet, then I'd be willing to see him in person.

    On another note, a girl I was (and maybe still am) in love with back in my home country sent me a voice message saying how she hasn't heard from me and misses me. Makes me sad that I'll never speak to her again.

    The emotional turmoil is hitting hard :(

  • M*A*S*H

    Print the letter, sign it, address it. Then put it in your desk drawer for at least one month. If you still want to send it then, go ahead.

    IMHO sending this letter will drive you friend further into the Borg mind. You are giving them 'something to do', a righteous call to action, a test, an opportunity for him to demonstrate his faith. Your letter will probably be passed direct to the elders and your friend will get that warm fuzzy feeling of 'doing the right thing'. It may well strengthen their faith, avoiding a nasty apostate attempting to tempt them away is no mean feat!

    The advice to perhaps meet and have a coffee would be better. Don't bring up any JW related issues until they ask and then only answer the questions they asked without launching into a tirade!

  • DesirousOfChange

    I think you might be actually able to do this and avoid DFing is you get rid of the line that says "I cannot be a part of any religion yada yada yada".


  • steve2

    You do ask for feedback - but I wonder if what you are really seeking is approval for sending the letter? Fair enough I suppose.

    If you don't mind being disfellowshipped, go ahead send the letter - but if you claim he is your best friend, why treat him that way?

    Looks like your own motivation for sending the letter is a bit uncertain.

    You are simply joining the ranks of untold others who think that their carefully worded letters will "reach" the other party and have a beneficial impact. A slow realization is that people seldom, if ever, base their ultimate religious beliefs on reason alone - which is why if you do touch a soft spot, the other party runs for cover and/or counterattacks. Expect your motives to be seriously called into question. A general principle applies here: The more you try to epxlain yourself, the less the other party hears. You are likely on a hiding to no where.

    Ulitmately it is your choice - and you have a pretty good idea on what to expect - so there should be no surprises.

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